


Special Bonds

by ElReyCiervo



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Cross is alive, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Families of Choice, Fluff and Angst, General Allen, Hurt/Comfort, Komui reading the exorcists' journals, Team as Family, good!neah, half noah allen, platonic ot4, the Innocence have a secret
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 10:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4561653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElReyCiervo/pseuds/ElReyCiervo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Komui never realized how powerful, yet fragile, the relationship between exorcists and their Innocence was. That is, until the Black Order gets attacked by Akuma that have the power to take away Innocence. Komui has to be a big brother to not only Lenalee, but to Allen, Lavi, and Kanda as well. At the same time, he has to figure out how to get their Innocence back as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Attack

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man.  
> -The Holy War between the Earl and the exorcists is over; the Earl is dead. All of the Noah are dead except for Road and Tyki.  
> -Allen is a General, now.  
> -Kanda and Lenalee both have their crystal type Innocence.  
> -Lavi has chosen to stay with the Black Order and not leave with Bookman.

Komui knew from the moment he woke up, that something was going to go wrong today. The thing was that he did not know what. The weather was beautiful and everyone was in an exceptionally good mood.

The reason for everyone's good mood was because of the status of the war against the Noah and the Akuma. The Earl was finally dead. The fatso was killed off in a fierce battle against Allen Walker, who had help from the Fourteenth. The Fourteenth, now known as Neah, had agreed to fight alongside Allen. That was his intention all along.  _He_  was not trying to take over Allen; however, the Noah genes in Allen's body were. The genes had turned Allen into a sort of half Noah. Allen could use Neah's powers, yet still continue to use his Innocence. Allen still looked the same, but his skin and eyes would change color when he would use Neah's powers or when Neah took over for a period of time. When Leverrier found out about Allen being a "half Noah", he shouted for the immediate execution of Allen. Just about everyone in the Black Order was grateful to Allen for killing off the Millennium Earl, so they disagreed with Leverrier. Neah was not very pleased to hear that Leverrier wanted to harm his precious nephew. So, when Neah took over Allen's body and killed Leverrier, no one was sad to see him die. Not even Link. Allen had sustained serious injuries in his fight with the Earl but healed up nicely within a few months time.

With the Earl gone, the level of Akuma dropped slightly. Road Camelot and Tyki Mikk were the only surviving Noah; the rest were killed shortly after the Earl. Road and Tyki were still creating Akuma. The two Noah seemed very spiteful that the rest of their family had been killed off by the exorcists. They were not creating measly Level Ones anymore, oh no. The Akuma that were appearing now were Level Threes and Level Fours. A Level Two would be spotted occasionally, but not very often. The exorcists still had their work cut out for them.

Luckily for the Black Order, almost all of the Innocence pieces were found. Only ten of the pieces were still missing. Hevlaska guarded all of the Innocence pieces inside of her, happy to have more of them to look over.

Lavi had decided that he liked his forty-ninth personality too much and decided to live as the personality "Lavi the exorcist". Bookman had actually shown a bit of sorrow over the loss of his apprentice, the one he viewed as a grandson. He had been quick to cover it up though and gave Lavi a smack across the head when he said that he was going soft. They did agree to stay in touch. It was decided that Lavi would act as a sort of pseudo-bookman, recording the history of the secret Holy War (that still seemed to be continuing with the Noah) and the Black Order through the eyes of "Lavi", his final persona.

Kanda had surprisingly decided to stay with the Black Order as well. He did not give a specific reason as to why, but he did say that he did not want to leave his friends behind. Yes, the proud Kanda had actually admitted that the people in the Black Order had become his friends. Komui had been very surprised to hear that, thinking that the Kanda that had said that had to be some imposter. Kanda was quick to amend that by threatening all of them that if they told anyone what he had said he would be quick to disembowel them all with Mugen. Komui then had no doubt in his mind that that was definitely Kanda.

His sweet sister Lenalee had of course wanted to stay with the Black Order, too. It was her home after all. She said that she and Komui did not have anywhere else to go anyway. Komui had no objection of leaving the Black Order.

So yes, all was good within the Black Order.

So why did he have this feeling in his stomach that something was going to happen?

* * *

Komui decided to take a break from the mountains of paperwork that cluttered his office, despite the vehement protests of an overworked Reever. Komui pointedly ignored him and walked out of his office and toward the dining hall. It was lunch time anyway. _Well, now,_ he chirped mentally, _l_ _et's go see what my favorite exorcists are up to!_

After a few minutes of walking the almost endless halls of the building, he finally reached the dining hall. Within a few moments of searching, he easily spotted the children (yes, he still thought of them as children) thanks to Allen's mountain of food. What he saw made him smile fondly. He could see Kanda loudly shouting threats at Lavi, violently slashing Mugen through the air trying to cut Lavi. Lavi was laughing and bouncing around the table, skillfully dodging Mugen. Lenalee was cheering Lavi on, a bright smile on her delicate face. Allen, on the other hand, had long finished his food and was now cackling amused at the sight before him (Allen got a  _slight_  personality change when he merged with his Noah genes).

He walked over to the table, sat down and said with a smile, "I see all of you are doing well today."

"Hello, brother!" Lenalee greeted happily.

Komui leaned over and embraced his sister tightly. "Oh my darling Lenalee, I have missed you!" he cried dramatically. Lenalee giggled and squirmed out of the tight hug. Kanda stopped chasing Lavi and nodded to Komui as he sat back down at the table, sheathing Mugen. Lavi managed to slip way from Kanda and plopped himself at the table. "So Komui, what'cha doing here? We barely see you out of your office." Lavi asked. Kanda contributed by quirking an eyebrow in question.

"Oh yes Komui, whatever  _are_ you doing here?" Allen asked as he ended with a giggle. He had a grin stretched across his face, and was polite as ever. Komui noticed that along with his slight personality change, Allen started speaking a little like the Fourteenth—with a melodic lilt to his voice. He also acted a little…insane at times. Like the other Noah, Allen became amused at some of the…darker things in life. For example, when fighting Tyki and Road he would like to see how much destruction he could cause to them. He also started to cackle, rather insanely in Komui's opinion, at the most ordinary of things, often with a smile that split his face in half that would be impossible for anyone who was not a Noah. However, despite all of those slight changes, Allen was still the Allen everyone knew-the British teen with a martyr complex who would not hesitate to help one of his friends with a smile on his face.

Komui smiled back at them. "I'm just taking a break from the mountains of  _atrocious_ paperwork piled in my office. Oh, it's awful! So, I decided to leave Reever and the other scientists with the work."

Lenalee giggled, Kanda just rolled his eyes, Lavi snorted and then chuckled, and Allen gave a high-pitched giggle.

"Oh you're awful Komui," Allen smirked.

"Yes, I know I am. Anyway, what are you all up to today?"

"Actually," Lenalee started, "we really had nothing planned today. With almost all of the Innocence pieces almost found, there haven't been any sightings or anything lately. Also, the Akuma have been oddly inactive."

"Yeah," Lavi leaned back slightly. "It's like a miracle or something. Hasn't been this peaceful in a while. I think I'm going to enjoy today."

As soon as that was said, Allen's eye activated. "Guys!"

An explosion then rocked the whole building.

Everyone in the dining hall shot up at the noise. "There are Akuma in the main atrium!" Allen said to Komui. "Every able bodied person who can fight head to the main atrium!" Komui shouted over all the commotion.

Komui and the four exorcists ran out of the dining hall toward the explosion.

"What the heck was that?" Lenalee asked.

"I think I know," Allen said as they slowed down at the site of the explosion. "Look up." The group looked up and their eyes widened slightly at what they saw. Dozens of Level Threes and Level Fours were pouring in from the giant hole that was made in the wall. Komui saw Allen give a violent shudder as he looked at the Akuma and he then quickly turned away. Komui furrowed his eyebrows.  _What is he shuddering about?_ he thought in confusion. Above all of those Akuma were two solitary flying Level Fours. Standing atop them, looking proud at the chaos they were causing, were Road and Tyki.

"Hello there, exorcists." The grin on Tyki's face was the definition of malice.

"You just  _had_  to jinx it, baka usagi!" Kanda shouted at Lavi.

And with that, the chaos began.

* * *

The other exorcists were taking care of the Level Threes while Allen, Kanda, Lavi and Lenalee fought against the Level Fours.

Komui moved behind a large slab of stone by the wall where he would not get in the way and not be seen. He bit his lip and clenched his hands. There was nothing he could do. Damn it all! He was boxed in all sides—the wall to his back, Allen's battle right in front of him, Kanda's and Lavi's battles on both sides of him, and Lenalee's fight in the air above him. He was very frustrated. If only he could get to the science department. Then he could get  _something_  that would be able to help. He hated feeling useless.

Road smiled down at Allen, as though she had good intentions. "Hello there, brother dear. Why are you still with the exorcists? We both know that you've turned into a Noah, so why don't you just come with me and Tyki, hmm? Come with your  _real_  family, Allen."

Tyki smirked. "Yes, shounen. I really am tired of this fighting. Why don't we make up? We could have a nice poker game and work things out."

Komui saw Allen positively bristle at Road and Tyki. "I may be merged with the Noah genes in my body, but I am  _definitely_ not part of  _your family_!" he spat. "The Black Order  _is_ my family!" Tyki scowled and shifted position, and Road let a frown pass over her dark gray face. "So be it."

She jumped down from the Level Four she had been standing on and charged, hurling her dangerously pointed candles at lethal speeds at Allen. Allen did not let that faze him, though.

"Crown Clown, activate!" The white cloak of Crown Clown wrapped around his body, protecting him from the deadly candles.

Komui was positive that Allen could handle himself; he was a general, after all. With that worry aside, he turned his attention from Allen's fight to Lenalee's. He craned his head above him to see Lenalee jump in the air.

"Dark Boots, activate!" Her anklets changed into high heeled boots. In the middle of her jump she flipped and axe-kicked a Level Three in the head, instantly killing it. It exploded and sent a large amount of debris falling to the ground. Komui quickly ducked and covered his head to protect himself from the falling debris.

Within the span of a few minutes, Lenalee had destroyed ten Level Threes. While doing serious damage to the enemy, she also received some damage to herself as well. She had a deep gash on her shoulder that was bleeding freely. Her left arm was limp, indicating some serious injury.  _A broken or a dislocated shoulder, perhaps,_ Komui's scientific brain told him. He was too far away to be sure. He could, however, see several slashes littering her legs. She was slowing down, clearly tired and running out of energy. Komui clenched his hands so hard that his nails dug into the flesh of his palm and broke the skin, making his palms bleed. If something happened to Lenalee…his little Lenalee, Komui thought he would no longer be able to live with himself. He sighed in relief when she finally got rid of her last opponent with a powerful, speed enhanced kick.

He shifted his position toward Lavi's direction when he hear Lavi shout, "Ozuchi Kozuchi, grow, grow, grow!" Lavi's hammer extended as he swept across a large spans of space, taking out both several Level Threes and Level Fours. Lavi jumped high in the air to dodge an attack that was aimed for his legs. He started rapidly spinning his hammer above his head, glowing seals appearing in a circle. Lavi swung his hammer down as he hit one of the seals. "Fire Stamp: Hellfire and Ash!" A large serpentine torrent of flames erupted from the seal and shot forth, engulfing the rest of the Akuma in his area and successfully destroying them. Komui was able to unwind his hands from their tightly clasped position now that he was sure that Lavi had defeated all his opponents and would be okay.

Now, Komui again turned his focus toward the last battle, Kanda's. What surprised Komui was that Kanda had actually already finished his fight. There were various Akuma parts scattered across the ground. Akuma blood had been sprayed across the walls, the floor, and on Kanda's clothes as well. Deep gouges and slashes, undoubtedly from Mugen, scarred the walls and the floor. Komui gave a short, slightly hysteric, laugh. Now why would he have to fret about Kanda? Kanda would be more likely to impale himself on his precious Mugen then admit he lost against any Akuma.

With their fights over and done with, Kanda, Lavi, and Lenalee were able to go and help Allen. When Komui turned back to Allen, he could see that Allen was actually on par with Tyki and Road. Even though that meant that he could keep up with them, it also meant that he was receiving an equal amount of damage as well. Allen's body was littered with deep scratched and gouges from Road's candles. He had deep, painful looking bite marks that were bleeding, courtesy of Tyki's man-eating Teeze. He looked worn and tired, but he had a determined gleam in his eye that said he would finish this for good, right here and right now.

Lenalee and Allen went after Road while Kanda and Lavi attacked Tyki. Tyki looked like death warmed over when Lavi and Kanda were through with him. He stood on shaky legs, bleeding profusely and swaying in place, not able to move. Lenalee was able to slip past Road's candles, and she gave her a sharp kick to the head, effectively knocking her into Tyki. Tyki fell to the ground with a pained grunt and Road laid on top of him in a dazed state from Lenalee's kick.

Now that all of the Akuma were destroyed and the Noah were about to be killed, Komui was able to crawl from his hiding space and join the exorcists with guarantee he would not be attacked. They all stood in a semicircle around Tyki and Road; from left to right, it was Kanda, Lenalee, Allen, Komui, and Lavi. Allen stood in the middle, slightly closer to the Noah than the rest of them.

Allen grasped his left wrist with his right hand and pulled, drawing out his Sword of Exorcism. He walked over and stood over the two Noah. Komui was surprised when he saw Allen's skin change from his normal alabaster tone to a dark ash color. His eyes changed from their normal soft mercury to a hard blazing gold. His hair was no longer straight, but wavy.

It was no longer Allen Walker standing above Road and Tyki.

It was Neah Walker.

"Well now," Neah's melodic voice rang throughout the whole atrium, "it seems this dispute will finally end after such a long time. Isn't that right, Road, Tyki?" Tyki answered first. "You…you who betrayed the Earl, who betrayed  _us_ —your family—have the gall to mock us? How dare you!" he had to pause as he coughed up a mouthful of blood. "We were your family, but you chose the side of the  _exorcists_!" He spat out the word 'exorcists' like it was some foul curse.

Road was able to regain enough coherence to talk. "How could you, Neah?" her voice was slightly shaky, quite unlike her normal playful tone. "We took you in. We rescued you from the wretched humans and gave you a life amongst betters."

Komui could tell just by looking at Neah, that Road had said the wrong thing.

"Wretched humans?" Neah's tone and volume made everyone jump in surprise. Neah's voice normally sounded like some kind of instrument. His words would still be the English language, of course, but the tone behind his voice would sound like a certain instrument, depending on his mood. Neah's mood was usually calm and happy, a lot like his nephew's in that sense. Now, however, it was quite different. The words that flowed out of his mouth sounded like sharp, angry violins. Komui had to refrain from covering his ears; it was not painful, but he really did not like the difference from the usual Neah.

"Those wretched humans you speak of were, and still are, my  _real_  family. The human  _Mana_ was my brother. My beloved older brother! The human _Allen_  is my nephew. The only thing I have left in my life! You speak as if you are betters. You are  _gravely_ mistaken." Neah hissed out. "You all and the Earl took me away from Mana. You made him start to lose his sanity. When I died, by the hands of  _your Earl_ , whatever sanity he had left shattered! You all brought Allen torment. Your beloved Earl manipulated Allen into bringing back Mana as an Akuma. Mana was forced to curse his precious son! Allen was forced to kill Mana, the only one who  _ever_ showed him  _any_ form of kindness!"

Komui was wide-eyed at this point. He looked around and saw that everyone else was as well. They were learning more about Allen in these few minutes than they had since they met Allen. Komui himself knew that Allen "killed" his adoptive father and brought him back as an Akuma, but he was not so sure that everyone else knew that.

Neah was not finished just yet. "Allen was left in a dangerous catatonic state afterwards."  _That_  made Komui let out a slight gasp. He had no idea that Allen had been in such a state. It pulled on his heartstrings to know that the white-haired exorcist he had come to think of as family had gone through such things. "Screaming out in pain as his cursed eye bled; pleading forgiveness from Mana as he was tormented by his nightmares; slowly wasting away from neither eating nor drinking…those were the norm for Allen."

Komui heard a high-pitched gasp to his left. He turned and saw Lenalee covering her mouth with her hands. Her eyes were wide and overly bright, indicating tears that had not yet fallen.

He looked past Lenalee and saw Kanda. Kanda actually looked surprised at what he was hearing. As opposed to his normal stoic demeanor, he apparently had no regrets of showing any emotion on his face at the current moment. His face was paler than normal, lips were parted in a silent gasp, and his eyes, like the others, were wide but not to the same degree.

To the surprise of everyone, Kanda and Allen had started to show a brotherly relationship a few months ago. Allen often referred to Kanda as his older brother, and Kanda referred to Allen as "Otouto", little brother. Lavi had actually feared for Allen's life when he first heard Allen call Kanda big brother. He had then proceeded to pass out when Kanda had not killed him with Mugen, but instead called him his otouto.

Kanda still called Allen "Moyashi" more often than "Otouto", though.

Komui turned to the last person in their bunch, Lavi. Lavi's face was the epitome of sadness. His eyebrows were furrowed and his eye half lidded in sorrow. An ugly frown pulled his normally smiling lips downward. A tear could be seen slipping from his only good eye. Lavi and Allen had a brotherly relationship from just about the moment they met. To Lavi, Komui could tell that Allen was like the wonderful little brother who was oh so much fun to tease.

Right now, angry tears started flowing freely from Neah's eyes. "The only one who is my family now  _is Allen_!" Neah brought up his arm and stuck down the Sword of Exorcism through Road and Tyki. The two Noah screamed in loud inhuman, grating voices that made everyone cover their ears. After a long few moments they stopped. They seemed to freeze in place. Their mouths were wide open, as were their eyes. Soon, their bodies started to crumble into large stone-like pieces, which then disintegrated into ash.

Neah leaned heavily on the Sword as if all the energy from him had been taken away. He then fell to his knees, no longer able to hold himself up. "Neah!" they shouted in surprise. Kanda and Lavi reached Neah first and they both grabbed one on his shoulders. Neah was hunched over and his frame was shaking slightly.

"Neah," Lenalee asked gently, "are you alright?"

Silence reigned throughout the whole atrium for several long moments. Finally, Neah lifted his head. Everyone was surprised at his face. He had a sad smile on his lips and tears continued to flow from his golden eyes. "I k-know that they were my enemies," he started shakily as he looked up to Komui, "so…why am I c-crying?" Komui quickly engulfed him in a hug and rubbed his back. "It's okay. It'll all be okay."

A while later, the dark color drained from Neah's face and his hair became straight again. Allen looked up at Komui with wet mercury eyes. "Thanks Komui," he said with a small crooked smile. "Neah was tired and he's taking a rest now."

Komui smiled and pulled Allen up to his feet. "I understand," he replied.

Allen pulled his Sword from the ground and turned it back into his black metallic, clawed Innocence arm. Crown Clown remained activated though, wrapped around his shoulders in a cloak.

"So it's finally over?" Lavi asked softly.

Kanda said simply, "It seems so. All the Noah are dead, now."

"Then why doesn't it feel like?" Lenalee questioned.

"I'm not sure…" Allen trailed off.

Now that Komui thought about it, as he looked around he noticed that the four exorcists still had their Innocence activated. _W_ _hy would they have their Innocence activated? The fight is over. We won._

Komui paused for a second before he asked uncertainly, "Do…do you all sense something?"

The exorcists were looking around the atrium with shifty eyes. "It's a…feeling of sorts." Allen said. "It's hard to describe."

Just then, a beam of purple energy shot from somewhere in the atrium, hitting Allen square in the chest. "Allen!" Komui shouted in shock.

Allen stumbled back a few steps. He was very wide-eyed and his mouth was forming inaudible words. He seemed to be trying to take in extra air he did not need. Crown Clown immediately deactivated and Allen's arm changed from the metallic black clawed arm to its normal state. He then fell down on his butt, leaning on his hands.

Everyone quickly gathered around him. "What happened? Are you okay, Allen?" Lavi asked the questions everyone wanted to know the answer to. Allen got his breathing regulated and rubbed his chest. "Yeah…" he ground out painfully. "I'm okay. I have no idea what the hell that was, though."

Kanda frowned. "It looked like dark matter."

"No, that definitely wasn't dark matter." Allen's voice seemed to get weaker as he continued. "Trust me; I know…what dark matter feels like. But…I can't hear Crown Clown anymore." Allen frowned.

"What!" the other three exorcists shouted in shocked.

"Y-Yeah…I…" Allen trailed off as he passed out.

"Allen!" Lavi exclaimed.

Komui had no idea what Allen meant. Why did the others react so seriously? He turned to the others. "What did he mean he couldn't hear Crown Clown?" He got no answer, though.

"Oi! Moyashi!" Kanda tried to wake Allen up. It was no use, though.

"Dammit. Did anyone see where that came from?" Komui asked the exorcists.

"No. I didn't see any—AH!" Lenalee was cut off by the same purple beam of energy that hit Allen. Just like what happened to Crown Clown, Dark Boots deactivated and changed back into their red anklet form. "Lenalee!" Komui scrambled from Allen to Lenalee. Just as he got to Lenalee, he heard Lavi shout. He turned to Lavi and saw him on the ground, Ozuchi Kozuchi a few feet away from him in its deactivated state.

"Lavi!"

"Komui! What the hell is going on?" Kanda shouted as he held Mugen tightly in his hands.

"I don't know!" he yelled frantically. Three out of four powerful exorcists were taken out in mere moments of each other. Komui looked around the whole atrium until something caught his eye. It was a Level Three Akuma that was charging up another purple beam. Komui quickly spun around and pointed at it for Kanda. "Kanda, over there! It's an Akuma doing all of this!"

Kanda was just able to throw Mugen like a missile before he too was struck with the purple energy. Mugen impaled the Akuma right in the middle of the head. The Level Three screamed before exploding. Komui covered his face with his arm to protect himself from the dust and smoke. Komui heard Mugen clatter noisily to the floor. Once all the smoke and dust cleared away, he could see Mugen on the floor, deactivated. He kneeled down to check on Kanda.

_Unconscious, just like the others._

Thoughts and questions raced through Komui's mind. _E_ _ach of their Innocence has been deactivated. Since when could Akuma do this?_

After what seemed like forever, more scientists, finders, and exorcists (1) finally spilled into the wrecked atrium. Komui stood and ordered, "I need medical assistance for these four exorcists immediately! Everyone else, start searching for any survivors!"

Everyone scrambled to do as ordered. Komui immediately pulled Reever aside and explained to him what happened. "I need you to look at the remains of that Akuma. I need you to find out how it was possible for an Akuma to deactivate an exorcist's Innocence like it did," he told Reever as he pointed in the direction of the destroyed Akuma. Reever could tell that Komui was quite serious. He nodded. "Understood, chief."

Komui turned away and walked to the four downed exorcists. He saw them being taken away on stretchers. A sad expression passed over his face as he saw each of their unconscious faces.

_Allen, Lenalee, Lavi, Kanda…what happened to you all?_

Apparently, the bad feeling in his stomach that had been nagging him the whole day was right.

* * *

Written:6/12/12; Edited and Published: 8/12/15

If you couldn't tell at this point, this is canon divergent, especially with the current chapters with the manga (about 219 or so). So, Allen isn't someone from 35 years ago, Mana isn't the Earl, the Earl never split into two people, and so on. 

Also, if you like this fic, check me out on Tumblr! I have a D.Gray-Man blog: [ms-musicl0vertheexorcist](http://ms-musicl0vertheexorcist.tumblr.com/). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Since so many more Innocence pieces have been found, more exorcists have come into the Black Order. However, none of them are worth mentioning. They shall remain nameless
> 
> A/N 1: Minor editting was done (8/12/15), but otherwise this chapter was directly pasted from FF.Net


	2. I'm Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My idea for this story is a kind of post-war fic (with all the Noah and the Earl dead and all). You all will probably understand more the more you read.
> 
> Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man and its characters do not belong to me.
> 
> Warning: gratuitous blood

Out of the many finders, scientists, and few exorcists that resided in the Black Order, not a single one of them had died in the attack. Many were injured of course, but none died. To say that Komui was thankful was an understatement. He decided that once everyone had healed up, everyone—and he meant  _everyone_ —would gather in the dining hall and celebrate. No one would be left out.

That included Allen, Lenalee, Lavi, and Kanda.

The four of them had been hit with a strange purple beam of energy from an Akuma that rendered them unconscious and left their Innocence in their deactivated states. Komui had racked his mind for any possible answers that would solve the problem at hand: what happened to his exorcists?

He currently had Reever and the other scientists examining the remains of the Akuma that shot off the beam. They took the task he had given them in stride, working on it straight away and not complaining once. When Komui had asked them why their normally complaining selves were not making so much as a grumble, they had replied simply that Allen, Lenalee, Lavi, and even the stoic Kanda were their friends. Komui had smiled at their devotion and apologized for interrupting their work.

It was now nine o'clock in the evening. The full moon that could be seen from the large windows bathed the long hallways of the Black Order in an ethereal light. The sound of hurried footsteps that clacked from slippers echoed throughout the otherwise quiet hallway. Komui had one destination in mind as he strode down said hallway: the infirmary. He was extremely worried for his exorcists and he wanted to see them. After a few minutes of walking the long hallway (why in the world were these hallways so long?) he finally reached the end. He turned the corner and stood at the door of the infirmary. It was cracked slightly and no noise emitted from inside. Komui opened the door gingerly.

The infirmary was a large room with rows of beds lined up along the walls. He knew that there were other rooms that spanned off from the infirmary. There were private rooms for one person, if the person needed special care or needed privacy. There were also rooms that held up to four patients at a time. These kinds of rooms were also used for special care and/or privacy. When the four teen exorcists had been taken away for medical treatment, Komui had personally asked the Head Nurse if they could have the four-person room away from the commotion of the rest of the infirmary; he thought that they would be able to lean on the company of one another. The Head Nurse had agreed without hesitation.

As Komui stepped further into the infirmary, he was greeted by several finders and scientists in various degrees of injury.

"Supervisor!"

"Supervisor Komui!"

"Hello, Supervisor!"

The Chinese man greeted each of them with a smile a few kind words. He could not stay for long, though. He had to find the Head Nurse (1). Not a few moments later, the Head Nurse appeared from one of the sectioned off rooms. She had a metal tray of bandages, rubbing alcohol bottle, and gauze in her arms. "Oh, Komui," she blinked, "I didn't expect to see you here so soon. How are you?"

"I'm as best as can be expected," he replied tiredly. "Thank you for asking."

The Head Nurse put down her tray on a table and turned to him. "I assume you are here to see the four teens, yes?"

He nodded. "Yes. How are they doing? Have they woken up yet?" He was eager to know their condition.

She sighed and rubbed her forehead.  _Uh oh, that's never a good sign,_ Komui thought anxiously. "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I have patched them up and their wounds are all healing well. They should be out of here within a few days."

Komui furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Then…what's the bad news?"

"The bad news is that they have not woken up yet—not comas, though, thankfully—and they all have caught high fevers, temperatures of 102º Fahrenheit—all of them. They are definitely not from their injuries, I can assure you that. However, I do not know where the fevers came from. I am utterly baffled."

Komui's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. The Head Nurse baffled by something? Unheard of! This made worry shoot through Komui. He now more than ever wanted to see the teens. "May I see them now, Head Nurse?" The woman nodded. "Of course, they are right through the door you just saw me come through."

"Thank you."

Komui walked by the Head Nurse and to the exorcists' room. He paused at the closed door and gathered his thoughts.  _They're going to be okay, Komui,_  he assured himself as he swallowed hard.  _They're strong kids. They have to be, after all they been through._  He clenched the metal door knob hard.  _They shouldn't have to be, though!_ Komui thought crossly. After a few moments, he collected himself and unclenched the knob slightly, turned it, and opened the door. He stepped inside and shut the door gingerly behind him with a soft click.

The room was fairly large. It was painted a warm beige color, unlike the dreary grey of walls of the main section of the infirmary outside. Instead of having the beds lined up right next to each other, there was a bed in each corner of the room. The wall right across from the door Komui that had walked through had a window right in the middle of it. Allen's bed was on the left of the window while Lavi's was on the right. Lenalee was to the left of the door, across from Lavi, and Kanda was to the right of the door, across from Allen. There was a chair and small table next to each of the beds. Each teen was connected to an I.V. and heart monitor, with Allen having the additional blood bag. (2)

Komui felt sorrow for all of the teens as he saw the condition they were all in. His heart went out to all of them.

The man went over to Lenalee first, sitting down in the chair and scooting closer to her. "Hey there, little sis. I'm here now." He knew she could not hear him, but he pretended that she could, though. He absentmindedly brushed stray wisps of dark olive-green hair away from her face with one hand while he held her petite hand with his other.  _Her hair is growing a bit longer,_ he thought idly.  _I bet she hasn't even noticed it in all this chaos. I'll tell her when she wakes up._ Her forehead felt warm underneath his fingertips. He looked at her face. Her cheeks were flushed pink with fever and beads of sweat dripped down her face. Her lips were parted and he could hear the tired breaths that escaped them. If it was not for the flushed face and the beads of sweat, Komui would have thought that his sister was just sleeping off a long day.

Lenalee's left arm—the same arm that had hung limp and useless in her fight—was bandaged and in a sling that folded against her chest.  _I guess it was a dislocated shoulder after all,_  Komui mused sadly. He was  _so **tired**_  of seeing his little sister getting hurt. If it were possible, he would take her place in a heartbeat, just to save her anymore pain.

He glimpsed further down at her blanket covered legs and saw the bumps of her Innocence anklets. They were in their deactivated state— _forcibly_  deactivated.

Dark Boots.

Was it wrong to hate them?

Well, maybe  _hate_ was a strong word. 'Greatly dislike' would work a tad better.

They allowed Lenalee to defend herself when need be, but…they were also the thing that caused her to suffer the almost entirety of her life; they caused her to be taken away from him. This caused a sad look to pass over the Chinese man's usually happy face.

He squeezed her hand gently before standing and making his way over to Kanda. He took a seat in the wooden chair next to Kanda's bed.

Beside Komui, leaning against the small table next to Kanda's bed, was Mugen. The katana was sheathed. Like Dark Boots, Mugen had been forcibly deactivated. As Komui looked at Mugen, he felt as though it had a cold feeling to it, if that was possible. Mugen also looked…fragile, as if it would break if anyone touched it. Komui was confused and worried by this. This did not look like the Mighty Mugen that Kanda proudly wielded.

Unlike Lenalee, who was lying flat in her bed, Kanda was propped up against a bolster of pillows. Komui could tell it was because of broken ribs, if the bandages wrapped tightly around his chest were anything to go by. He did not worry too much, though. Kanda healed faster than normal humans did.

Kanda's long raven-blue hair was out of its normal, neat ponytail and was splayed in a mess of tangles across the pillows. No doubt Kanda would be pissed about that when he woke up.

On his chest, peeking out from the bandages was Kanda's intricate tattoo. Komui frowned when he saw that; he absolutely hated that tattoo. While it did save Kanda's life in battle which Komui was thankful for, it also was the thing that shortened his life span; the more he used it, the more it would drain his life—the lotus blossom in his room just being an indicator of how long the young man had to live. Hopefully now that the Earl and the Noah were dead, there would be no need for Kanda to ever need that tattoo again.

The bandages also had some spots of blood on them, so Komui suspected that they were also covering several injuries that he did not know that Kanda had gotten previously. From the torso up, there were no other injuries on Kanda's bodies. Kanda's body from the waist down was covered by a blanket.

"Well, Kanda," Komui started quietly, "it seems that your pride as a samurai stays strong with you, as always. Defeating your enemy with little to no injuries…nothing but the best, huh? When I saw your battle against the Akuma I was worried about you. Then I saw you with no visible injuries, sliding Mugen back into its sheath; I was relieved." Komui shook his head as a fond thought ran through his mind. He could practically hear Kanda yelling,  _Oi, Sister Complex! Why the hell are you acting like a sissy for? Worrying about me like some girl. Tch!_  Komui lips quirked upward in an amused smile.

Komui looked at Kanda's face. Unlike the Japanese teen's usual stoic demeanor, his face had a pinched look about it; most likely pain. His eyes were shut tighter than normal, his nose was scrunched a bit, and his lips were pressed in a thin line. His face was also flushed because of his fever. He, however, looked worse than Lenalee. While Lenalee's face was slightly pink, Kanda's was red. Komui suspected the fever added to the tight look to Kanda's face.

The Chinese scientist reached out and grabbed Kanda's hand. "Don't worry, Kanda. You'll be up and arguing with Allen and Lavi in no time." With that last comment, Komui stood from the chair that creaked in protest of the sudden movement and went over to Lavi.

Again as he did with Lenalee and Kanda, Komui sat in the provided chair next to the pseudo-bookman's bed. Lavi was in a worse condition than Lenalee but about the same condition as Kanda. The teen had bandages running the length of both of his arms, from the knuckles to the shoulders. Leaning a bit closer, the man could see angry red burns peeking out from under the bandages by the knuckles. So, Lavi won't be able to use his arms for a bit.

 _That is both a good thing and a bad thing in and of itself. The bad thing is that Lavi is_ _**hurt** _ _, of course. That's always bad. The good thing is that I don't have to worry about any pranks in my office surprising me and almost giving me a heart attack._

Actually, right now, Komui would not have minded a prank by Lavi. He would have been happy to see the normally exuberant rabbit causing mischief if it meant seeing him well again.

Komui glanced at small table next to Lavi. Lying on the table top was a small hammer; Tettsui, more commonly known as Ozuchi Kozuchi. Gone was the strong solid look the war hammer usually carried. Even in its deactivated state, Ozuchi Kozuchi normally looked strong and sturdy. Right now in its current forced state, Komui thought that, like Mugen, Ozuchi Kozuchi looked like it would fall to pieces. It looked frail, weak.

Haggard breaths that escaped Lavi's lips, indicated by the slightly unsteady rise and fall of his chest showed that the teen was very weak and strained from the wounds he received. It also indicated slight damaged to the lungs, probably from getting hit too hard or being thrown into a wall too hard. There were multiple bruises on his chest, shoulders (the parts he could see), and a particularly large one on the underside of his jaw. It was a horrible yellow-purple combination of a color; it looked like it would take a while to heal.

The teen's crimson-red hair was free of his normal green headband and now hung loosely, framing his face. His trademark black eye patch was still ever-present on his face. Lavi's face was pale and flushed at the same time. Rivulets of sweat rolled down his face, matting the wisps of hair that happened to get in his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and Komui could see his eye moving quickly behind the closed eyelid. He was mouthing words, but as Komui looked at his lips to try and read them, he could not make out any of the words that Lavi was mumbling. He could, however, make out that Lavi was saying the same few words over and over again.

Lavi was dreaming, apparently, and not a nice dream either.

Komui could not hold the redhead's hand as it was injured, so he put a hand on his shoulder—the part that was not injured. "Lavi," he said comfortingly, "it's going to be okay. Whatever is going on in that head of yours, it's not real. What's real is out here with all of us—Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, and I." The physical contact and the soft, comforting words seemed to ease Lavi's mental state, but only slightly. His eyebrows eased from their furrowed state and his eye slowed down its movement behind its eyelid. Lavi's mouth, however, did not stop the silent mumbling it was doing previously.

This made Komui feel a bit better. He was glad he could give a bit of ease to the teen.

He sat with Lavi for a few more moments before standing and moving over to the last injured exorcist in the room, Allen.

The scientist sat in the chair next to Allen's bed with a tired sigh and paused for a moment as he looked over white-haired teen. "Allen, what a fine mess it seems we've all gotten into, hmm?"

Allen was easily in the worst condition of all of the exorcists. The gouges and scratches from Road's candles were stitched up and bandaged. There were splotches of blood that seeped through some parts of the bandages, nonetheless. The deep bites that he received from Tyki's Teaze were covered by cotton patches. Those cotton patches covered his neck, human arm, and chest. The I.V. and blood bad were both attached to his right arm.

The teen exorcist looked like death warmed over. His already pale skin was even paler now, almost translucent; a very clear sign of extreme blood loss. The Brit had lost copious amounts of the red liquid in the attack on the Black Order that had occurred only hours ago. Allen's white hair, combined with his pallor complexion, made him look not unlike a ghost.

 _The Destroyer of Time, the Musician, the Fourteenth's host, General…this boy has so many titles,_ Komui thought sardonically as he brushed his hand through the teen's white hair, _yet no one realizes that behind all those titles, this boy is just that—a boy._

Komui's dark eyes landed on Allen's red curse mark; it stood out starkly, even more than usual, against the teen's paler than normal skin. This made him think of what he saw earlier. Allen had looked at the Akuma and then had shuddered violently. Komui did not understand what made Allen give such a violent reaction. His gaze drifted to the rest of Allen's face. His face was flushed a bright red from fever, much brighter than the other teens had been. Sweat rolled down his face and neck, matting his hair and soaking the pillow he rested his head on. Allen's face, like Kanda, had a pinched pained look about it.

Komui looked at Allen's Innocence arm. Like the other teens' Innocence, Crown Clown had been forcibly deactivated as well. If an arm could have a sickly look about it, then Allen's arm certainly did. The normally black arm looked a few shades lighter, like a light charcoal black. Komui guessed that was the shade it turned when it "paled" like the rest of Allen's body. The cross on the back of Allen's hand normally glowed a bright, vibrant green. At the current moment, the cross glowed dimly; the color was a sickly, dull green. _Why does it look like that?_

The British teen's head shook from side to side faintly. Komui was startled slightly from this sudden movement. Was Allen waking up? Allen's white eyelashes fanned his cheeks as his eyes fluttered open. Tired mercury eyes looked around the room slowly.

"Allen? Allen, can you hear me?" Komui asked gently.

Allen did not reply for a moment. His mouth moved as he rasped something Komui did not understand. "I'm sorry, Allen. I didn't hear you. Could you repeat that, please?"

"C-Crown…Clown," he rasped out again.

Komui blinked in surprise. Crown Clown? "Allen, what about Crown Clown? What happened?"

Allen just kept murmuring his Innocence's name. "Crown Clown, Crown Clown…Crown Clown…"

 _What is going on here?_  Komui's eyed narrowed a bit in confusion. As he looked at Allen's eyes, his own eyes widened in revelation. "He's delirious." Yes, Allen's eyes had an unfocused look about them and kept drifting around, not staying in once place.

"…Crown Clown, I-I can't…hear you, Crown C-Clown. W-Where are you?" Allen sounded miserable at this point. He began breathing a bit more rapidly now, and his head was still shifting from side to side in a pained manor.

Allen's comment caught Komui's attention.  _There it is again. The 'I can't hear' phrase._ This was the second time that Allen said that he could not hear Crown Clown. The first time was back in the atrium after he got hit with the purple energy beam. Komui remembered that Allen's comment had prompted a strong reaction from Lavi, Kanda, and Lenalee. He especially remembered their shocked faces.  _What does it mean that Allen can't hear Crown Clown? Does it have something to do with him specifically, or does it have to do with all the exorcists?_ Komui wanted to lean more toward the latter speculation, since  _all_  of the exorcists had reacted so strongly.

Komui was pulled from his musings by the miserable sounds coming from Allen. At this point, Allen was crying softly. Tears streamed from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. "Where are you, Crown Clown? I…c-can't hear you. W-Why can't…I hear y-you, Crown Clown?"

Komui did not quite understand what was going on, but whatever was happening to Allen and Crown Clown, it absolutely saddened him. Allen sounded so miserable, so grief-stricken. It made Komui's heart clench. The older man stood and hugged Allen as gently as he could due to the exorcist's injuries and whispered soothing words in the teen's ear.

"Allen, it's okay. Crown Clown is still with you." Komui was not sure if he was saying the right thing in reference to the Innocence, but he hoped it would help, if only a bit. "It's okay. It'll all be alright, now. Calm down, Allen." Slowly, but surely, Allen stopped crying and quietly hiccuped. After a minute or so, Allen became silent.

The scientist waited a moment before releasing Allen. He looked at Allen and saw that he had fallen back asleep. Komui pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the tears from Allen's face. "Rest now, Allen."

Komui turned and started to walk out of the room. Before he could make even five steps, he heard choked shouts coming behind him. The shrieking of four heart monitors pierced the air. He spun around in surprise and took a sharp intake of breath at what he saw. All four of the previously unconscious exorcists were currently upright in their beds, writhing in pain. The Chinese man immediately bolted from the room and to the main part of the infirmary.

"Head Nurse! Head Nurse, we have a problem!" Komui yelled frantically.

The Head Nurse hurried from whatever room she was in previously and stopped when she saw Komui. "Komui? What happened?"

"Please, hurry!" he exclaimed as he ran back to the room, the woman trailing behind him. "They were all unconscious before, but they suddenly starting writhing around and shouting. I don't know what's going on!"

They got back into the room and the Head Nurse went to Lenalee while Komui went to Lavi. Just moments behind the Head Nurse and Komui came Johnny and Reever bursting through the door.

"Komui! What happened? What's going on?" Reever asked as he moved to hold down Kanda as carefully as he could due to his injuries.

Johnny quickly ran toward Allen to hold him down as well. "We were walking by and heard screaming. What's happening to them?"

"I don't know! Just hold them down!" Komui shouted back.

They turned their attention to Lenalee when she threw her head back with a pained shriek as she curled into a ball and clutched her ankles. Her left arm slipped from its sling and Komui could see the shoulder had heavy bruising around it. She was sobbing in agony, tears pouring from her eyes and streaming down her face. She was bleeding heavily from the stigmata on the fronts of her ankles. Lenalee clutched her ankles again and she heaved a great sob.

"D-Dark B-Boots!" she cried. Her red anklets audibly cracked. When they gave a second, deeper crack, Lenalee gave another scream of agony. A few seconds later, the anklets finally shattered, several red pieces falling onto the bed. Lenalee gave a last strangled yell before collapsing in her bed in a shuddering heap.

All of them looked on wide-eyed at what just happened to her.

"What the…?" Komui trailed off. He turned to the Head Nurse. "Head Nurse!"

"Already on it, Komui," she said as she tended to Lenalee's wounds, old and new.

Komui himself was having trouble holding down Lavi. The redhead was writhing around, throwing his head back and forth. His teeth were gritted so tightly that Komui was worried that one (or all) of them would crack.

Lavi was grabbing at his chest, desperately looking for some sort of relief from whatever pain he was in. A loud crack rang throughout the room and they all looked at Lavi's hammer lying on the table. A large horizontal fissure ran the length of the hammer. Lavi arched up and gave an excruciating scream. "Lavi, calm down!" Komui was straining to hold the exorcist down. How could he possibly be this strong when he was this injured?

Lavi struggled again, and ground out painfully through clenched teeth, "O-Ozuchi K-Kozuch-chi!" The tiny war hammer cracked a last time before finally shattering into large metal chunks on the table. The reaction was instantaneous; Lavi arched up at an impossible looking angle and then let out an ear piercing scream of pain that made everyone flinch. He finally stilled and fell back in the bed, panting.  _So, the more the Innocence is damaged, the more the exorcist is hurt,_ Komui concluded dejectedly.

He could see spots of blood growing larger on the bandages covering Lavi's burned arms. "Dammit," Komui muttered. "Head Nurse!"

"I'll be there in a moment, Komui!"

Komui turned from Lavi to Reever, who was holding down Kanda. "Reever, hold him down as best you can, but be careful! He has several broken ribs," he said. "I'm going to check on Mugen. The same thing will happen to it as what has happened to both Dark Boots and Ozuchi Kozuchi."

Reever only gave a grunt of affirmation. Komui could tell that most of his focus, attention, and energy were going toward making sure Kanda did not harm himself any further.

Komui quickly stepped toward the small table next to Kanda's bed, and he bent down on one knee next to Mugen. He picked up the katana and swiftly, but carefully, unsheathed it, revealing the cold metal. Komui could see the fractures and splinters already on the long red-tinted blade. Right before his eyes, a very long crack ran the entire length of the katana. Komui's eyes widened and he quickly turned his head to look at Kanda.

Instantaneously, Kanda curled into himself—while sitting upright since he was still being held by Reever—and clutched at his arms. His stigmata, which were on the inside of his forearms, started gushing blood at an alarming rate. They rapidly stained the bed sheets and Reever's arms and clothes. Kanda seemed to be trying to hold in as much noise as he could, but it was futile. A strained scream managed to escape past his gritted teeth.

Hairline fractures began to form on Mugen, spreading toward the larger fractures and making them even larger than before. The effect—Kanda twisted under Reever, shrieking in a manner that was so very unlike him. Both Komui and the others were surprised when they saw a few tears spring from the Japanese teen's tightly clenched eyes. Kanda  _never_ cried.  _Ever_. So for him to be reduced to tears now, Komui knew that Kanda had to be in  _extreme_ pain.

"M-Mugen!" Kanda again twisted painfully under Reever strong hold.

Komui got the feeling that Mugen was holding together as best as it could. Sadly, it seemed that it could no longer do so. With a shrill noise, Mugen pitifully cracked and shattered into large, long metal shards in Komui's own hands. The only thing that was intact was the hilt, and even that seemed that it would fall apart.

"Gah!" Kanda shot up against Reever, stronger than the scientist could hold him. He sat stock-still, eyes wide as he clutched his now red arms to his chest. If it were not for the visible shaking of his frame and the expansion and contraction of his (now probably  _very_ injured) ribs, Komui would have thought that Kanda died upright or something. After a moment, Kanda's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he passed out, falling to his pained with an exhausted grunt.

" _Three down, one to go_ ," thought Komui cynically.

The Head Nurse had just finished with Lavi so she was able to tend to Kanda next.

"Guys, I really need some help over here!" Johnny exclaimed.

Reever immediately stepped away from Kanda and went over to help. Komui took just a few seconds to place the broken remains of the once intact Mugen on Kanda's bedside table. Then he went over to help with Allen.

If Komui thought Lenalee, Lavi, and Kanda were in pain then he was mistaken. The noises that Allen was emitting sounded like he was being tortured! Komui had to consciously restrain himself from covering his ears as he and everyone else flinched. Johnny moved to hold down Allen's right arm while Reever held down his left, Innocence arm. Komui stood next to Reever so he could see what was going on to Allen's Innocence. He was very worried about what would happen to Allen. His Innocence was a parasitic type; it was _attached_ to his body. What would happen once the Innocence was gone like the others?

"Jeeze," Reever grunted, "this kid is harder to hold down than Kanda was! How is that possible _?_ "

Allen's Innocence arm looked like it was rapidly paling from the already light charcoal black color to a dark grey. Within another few seconds the color changed again, this time from the dark grey to a lighter grey. It looked very sickly at this point; it was twitching sporadically and veins were starting to show very prominently against the unhealthily tinged skin. The British exorcist was outright sobbing—tears flowed from his wide, pain-filled mercury eyes and flew onto the other men's skin as the teen rapidly shook his head back and forth.

The teen threw his head back against the pillow and  _screamed_. It was a long agonized, heart wrenching scream that made one want to cover their ears and hide in a corner. It was double-pitched, as if there were two voices screaming at once.

" _AAAHHHHHHHHH_!"

"Komui!"

"I see it!"

Allen's Innocence arm was  _disintegrating_. Starting from the black nails, the arm just seemed to slowly disintegrate and disappear. And there was nothing they could do about it. Within moments, there was nothing from below the elbow. They had to stand there and watch helplessly as the rest of their friend's arm disintegrated, now around the shoulder. However, instead of continuing to disintegrate the rest of his body, the Innocence stopped where the spike-like tattoos were and formed a black cap on his shoulder with a cross emblem on it. Komui had seen this cap on his should before when Allen pulled his arm to form his Sword of Exorcism.

Good. Well, at least he would not bleed out to death.

"Gah! C-Crown Clown!"

Allen twisted sharply on his side as he made a disturbingly painful hacking cough. What flew out of his mouth was a large mouthful of red blood. It seems Komui spoke too soon.

"Oh damn! Does he have internal bleeding or something?" Reever asked as he jumped out the way just in time for Allen to spew out even more blood.

"His Innocence! When the Noah, Tyki Mikk, had destroyed Allen's Innocence the first time, he also lodged a Teaze in his chest. The Teaze ate a hole in his heart, but he survived because his of his Innocence! His Innocence covered the whole in his heart. But now that it's gone…" Johnny trailed off with tearfully.

"No time for that!" Komui did not want to think of the worst case scenario. He had no idea of what that hell was happening to his kids, but he was damned well sure he was going to make sure they lived.

Komui mental train of thought came to a screeching halt for a second. Did he just say  _his_ kids? He shook his head. He would think about that when all of them were not in danger of dying (again).

"Head Nurse!"

* * *

Komui tiredly stood in the hallway, heavily leaning against the cold stone wall outside his office. His mostly white outfit was stained mostly red (turning to a dark brown as it dried), now, with blood.  _Their blood,_  he thought with a shudder as he adjusted his glasses. It had taken over two hours to get all four of the teens stabilized. They had to have their new wounds patched up (except Lavi because he did not receive any) and their old ones taken care of again. It seemed Allen got lucky and that patch over his heart stayed, keeping him receiving more internal bleeding; it was weakened, but intact. What surprised Komui even more was the fact that none of their I.V.'s, heart monitor lines, and Allen's blood bag had ripped out with all the jarring movement and writhing.  _Small blessings_

All of their Innocence—gone.

Dark Boots—gone; only cracked, red pieces of anklets remained.

Ozuchi Kozuchi—gone; reduced to chunks of metal and a delicate handle.

Mugen—gone; turned into brittle shards of scrap metal and a fragile hilt.

Crown Clown—gone; disintegrated before their very eyes right from its accommodator's suffering body.

Each of the powerful Innocence had been forcibly deactivated, and now seemingly destroyed. They were not completely destroyed, though. If they were, then they would have been turned to dust. If Crown Clown was destroyed, for example, then Allen would have been left with a bloody stump of a shoulder and a heart with a hole in it.

He remembered that he had called the teens 'his kids'. Now that he thought about it…yes, they were his kids. Just not in the sense a parent would think of their kids. Allen, Lavi, and Kanda had become his little brothers just like Lenalee was his little sister. They were his family (albeit a very dysfunctional one).

Thinking about them made his chest hurt, his heart ache. He remembered their looks of pain, of agony, back in the infirmary. He remembered their screams—Komui did not think he would ever forget those. What did they do to deserve this? The answer was simple.

_Nothing._

They did  _nothing_  to deserve this fate.

"God, why have you condemned these children to this wretched fate?" he asked mournfully.

He remembered all the times in his years in the Black Order that he saw those children suffer. He remembered Lenalee, bound to her bed, eyes glazed with pain as she begged that she 'just wanted to go home'. He remembered looking at Kanda when he was younger, being so painfully socially awkward. Komui remembered the look of loneliness he saw in Kanda that was hidden underneath layers of bitterness. He remembered Lavi, fingering his eye patch when he thought no one was looking. Komui knew that injury was very traumatic for Lavi. Lastly, Komui remembered nights when he walked the halls and heard Allen, sobbing dismally in his room for his deceased father, Mana. He had done nothing to comfort him because he did not want to embarrass Allen by letting him know he was there.

The dark-haired man slid down the stone wall and onto his rear. He held his face in his pale hands and sobbed miserably.

He cried for the lost innocence (3) of his family.

And he cried for not being able to help them.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry…"

* * *

Written: 6/30/12; Edited and Posted: 8/19/15

Check out my D . Gray-Man blog! It's [ms-musicl0vertheexorcist.tumblr.com](http://ms-musicl0vertheexorcist.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) I don't know what the nurse lady is actually addressed by, so I'm just going to call her Head Nurse.
> 
> (2) Edit: I didn't give them heart monitors or I.V,'s (or a blood bag) before, but I reconsidered and gave them to the teens. If Komui (and the science division) can come up with robots and giant screens to monitor people, than I feel like the Order easily had advanced medical technology,definitely more advanced than the rest of the world had during this time (19th century, about 1860+).
> 
> (3) Notice how it's 'innocence' and not 'Innocence'. There is a difference. Komui is sad that the teens basically had no childhoods. They were never really innocent in the same sense a normal child is. Lavi was a bookman from an early age, witnessing war after war. Lenalee was brought to the Black Order when she was very young. Kanda was born as a Second Exorcist. Allen was thrown into the streets due to his arm, turned his father into an Akuma, was cursed, and is a half-Noah. So, yeah…there's a lot to be sad over.
> 
> A/N: What happened to our favorite exorcists? Will they be okay? Well, you guys will find out in the next chapter—or the one after, I'm not sure. I don't know if you guys could tell, but I don't really outline my chapters. I'm a more go-with-the-flow writer.


	3. The Surprising Visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man. 
> 
> Warnings: Blood, and cursing.

_Komui was running through the strangely desolate halls of the Black Order. His rapid footsteps and harsh breathing echoed through the cold halls. He knew he had to hurry, or his precious people wouldn’t make it. He shook his head; he knew he should not be thinking like that. His precious people were depending on him._

_T_ _e man stopped abruptly when he heard four distinct screams. His blood turned to ice. His entire body seized up. He stopped breathing. He knew those screams! “That’s Allen, Lavi, Kanda, and Lenalee!” he exclaimed in a hoarse voice._

_He turned right into the next hall where he had heard the screams come from. He ran faster this time, desperate to get to them. But this hall seemed to never end! The more he ran, the more the hall stretched out in front of him as if mocking him. He heard those agonizing screams again, but where were they coming from?! Komui stopped and tuned in a circle. He was shaking at this point. The screams of his kids were reverberating throughout his head, making **him** want to scream out in desperation. And that he did._

_“Allen! Lavi! Kanda! Lenalee! Where are you?! Please, I can’t find you!”_

_Komui shouted as loud as he could, panting a little afterwards. Nothing but his own voice echoed throughout the cold stone halls. He waited anxiously for another few moments as he strained his ears in case he heard the teens. He jolted as he heard them coming from the hallway on his left. He dashed down the hallway. With a start, he realized that he knew this hallway. This was the hallway that led to the main atrium! He heard their screams again and realized with joy that he was definitely getting closer. With a determined gleam in his eyes and a well of optimism in his chest, he commanded his legs go faster with a burst of speed._

_Within a few seconds, he was at the entrance of the main atrium. A smile pulled at his lips as he started to speak. “Kids, you’re oka-”But he did not finish his sentence. Instead, his smile instantly melted off his face and his eyed widened in abject horror. His heart felt like it was trapped in a vice, squeezing to the point that Komui involuntarily let a strangled gasp escape his mouth. No, no this couldn’t be!_

_In front of him were Allen, Lavi, Kanda, and Lenalee. But they were not in the state he had expected to find them. The teen exorcists were lying in mangled heaps close together on the unforgiving stone floor, blood flowing from them freely._

_The sick metallic stench of blood knocked him out of his stupor, and he sprinted to the ones closest to him: Lavi and Kanda. The Chinese man quickly dropped to his knees as soon as he reached them, ignoring the red blood that was currently staining his pristinely white pants. He gently gathered the boys in his arms as not to hurt them any more than they already were. When he looked down at the two teens, he saw that they were both conscious; however, he was not sure if that was a blessing or a curse right now._

_(1) Lavi’s face was bruised very heavily along his jaw, painting it a nasty purple color. He had blood running from his lips and if Komui listened carefully, he could hear harsh wet, gurgling breaths coming from Lavi’s mouth as he struggled to breathe; this was definitely a sign of heavy internal bleeding. Komui could see angry red burns on the redhead’s hands, arms, shoulders, and chest. They were fresh and still raw, turning his skin black in some places and a painful maroon in others; the burns were still bleeding, seeping into Komui’s arm sleeve. He could also see bruises blossomed all over the poor teen in all the colors of the rainbow—blue, yellow, purple, green, etc. Komui grimaced._

_With an unpleasant start, Komui realized that Lavi was staring at him with his green eye. Normally warm and genial, Lavi’s eye was a happy emerald color. Right now however, Lavi was looking at him with spite, his eye a cold, harsh jade. “La-Lavi? Lavi, it’s me Komui. I’m going to get you guys some help. I-”_

_“Help?” Lavi unexpectedly cut him off. His voice was but a whisper. “You want to…get us help? We needed help ages ago! Where…were you then, huh?! Where were you when the Akuma brutally attacked us? When the two Noah decided to have their fun with us…and play a ‘game’? Where you then?!” His voice was low and weak, but it carried such a biting force that made it seem like he was bellowing. Lavi’s words slapped Komui in the face and made his eyes widen in horrified confusion._

 _"_ _Lavi…Lavi, what are you talking about? I came straight here to help you all!”_

_“Please,” Lavi scoffed. He seemed to scrounge up what little energy he had left in order to spit a glob of blood in the man’s face. “You didn’t want…to help us. You were probably lazing around somewhere, kickin’ up…your feet while we’re here battling… for our lives. Damn bastard, look what you did to us…” Lavi gripped Komui’s sleeve with both his hands, strangely strong for a person who could barely muster up the energy to speak._

_“No…no I wasn’t I…” Komui could barely speak himself. He was shaking, his body suddenly cold as his mind tried to process what was in front of him. Lavi could not really feel like that. It just did not make sense to Komui. The pseudo bookman knew that Komui cared for all the people in the Black Order, especially the four of them. So why was he saying these harsh things…?_

_Kanda’s deep vitriolic voice wrenched him out of his miserable thoughts. “Damn you, Komui…”_

_Komui weakly turned to the Japanese exorcist frightened of what he would see and hear. Kanda looked worse than Lavi. Kanda’s raven-blue hair, which he normally took very good care of, now fell in choppy tatters. It looked like someone had purposefully shredded it with dull scissors. Kanda’s body had lacerations all over it. They were deep and nasty and poured out sticky, hot blood all over the place. The tattoo that was on his chest looked like it had been traced over with a serrated blade. The tattoo was barely visible under all of the mangled shreds of skin over it. Komui lastly looked at the teen’s face. Amazingly, there were no injuries that marred his face; however, an ugly look did._

_Kanda’s mouth was turned downward in a horrible frown as he bared his teeth in a snarl. While Kanda’s eyes were normally harsh and distant, they often held a special warmth for the people he cared about. Kanda’s dark blue eyes were the only way a person could tell what kind of emotion he was experiencing that was not anger. Right now, Kanda’s dark blue eyes were as cold as ice and held a malice in them that Komui had only seen directed at Kanda’s enemies._

_It disturbed Komui immensely to see that look directed at him._

_“…You damn bastard. This is your entire fault. We’re like this because of you.” Kanda must have had some strength left within him because he had an awfully tight grip the sleeve that was not held by Lavi. “You should be…in our place right now. Maybe…we should make that happen…”_

_Komui winced and let out a gasp of pain as Lavi and Kanda’s grips on his sleeves became quite painful. Their nails were digging harshly into his arms and he could feel that they pierced the skin even through his sleeves._

_Komui became panicked and tried to wrench off their hands. He did not want to hurt them, but they would not get off of him! This couldn’t be Lavi and Kanda! It just couldn’t be! Komui managed to get Kanda and Lavi off of him, but their grips were so strong that they tore his sleeves._

_He backpedaled like a crab away from the two boys. He was horrified at what was going on. He did not even **know** what was going on! He was near hyperventilation as he tried to get his breathing under control. He let out a startled gasp when he felt very familiar dainty arms drape across his shoulders from behind. He turned around with wide eyes to see his little sister Lenalee resting her head on his shoulder._

_“L-Lenalee…? What…how…” his voice was stuck in his throat. Lenalee looked terrible._

_Komui could see that her legs were torn to shreds. They were lacerated all the way from her toes to her hips. Her Innocence anklets that normally rested around her thin ankles were nowhere to be seen. Rivers of red blood ran from the stigmata on the fronts of her of her ankles. He could not see her torso, but Komui had a feeling that it was just as mutilated as the rest of her body was._

_“Road decided to play a game with me,” she said as she brought up a hand and rested it on his cheek. Her voice was sweet, but it had a malicious undertone lacing it that made Komui tense involuntarily. “Road’s game hurt, **big brother**. It hurt so badly. So why weren’t you **here**?” She annunciated her question by digging her sharp fingernails into Komui’s cheek, drawing blood. Komui hissed in pain._

_Lenalee used the hand that was digging into Komui’s cheek to turn his head sharply to hers. He gasped as she pressed her forehead to his. A violent shudder ran down his spine as he felt hot blood from Lenalee’s head drip down his forehead. He felt like he could not breathe. His little sister’s kind violet eyes were the exact opposite of what they normally were. Now, they were looking at him with vicious sadism and wickedness. Komui felt hot tears prick at his eyes as he gazed at his precious little sister._

_“Dear **brother** ,” she breathed, “maybe…I should play Road’s game with you~. I don’t…have her candles, but…I think I can manage without them.”_

_“Lenalee, please…I-I’ll help you. Just like I a-always d-do. Why are you doing this?!” Komui was near hysterics. He could not comprehend what was happening. What happened to his sweet little sister? This girl that was clinging to him was too malicious, too dark to be his sweet little Lenalee._

_Komui nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt someone sit in his lap. He turned away from Lenalee to see Allen sitting there. The scientist’s eyes widen at the sight in front of him. Allen was missing his left arm. It was not capped like when he had his Sword of Exorcism out; it was a mangled stump of bleeding flesh. It bled so badly that the red splashed all over the floor and onto Komui himself. There was so much that it soaked his pants all the way through to his skin, making him shudder violently and want to gag. Allen’s cursed scar looked like it was carved over by a knife, splitting his forehead and cheek open and making it seem like he was crying tears of blood. A line of stigmata was blazoned across the teen’s forehead, sluggishly dripping even more blood into Allen’s face._

_The strange thing was that Allen’s body seemed to be split down the middle. Not by a wound, but by color. Allen’s left side of his body looked normal (minus the bloody stump). His hair was white and straight, and his red pentacle was still on his forehead, albeit bleeding. His eye was still his normal mercury color and his skin was still a (very) pale alabaster. The right side of his body was a different story. The right side of his hair was still white, but it was curly. The skin on his right side was a dark ash, the color of a Noah’s skin. Allen’s right eye was not mercury, but a bright gold._

_Half of this body was Allen Walker and the other half was Neah Walker._

_“Oh, Komui~!” It sounded like two voices on top of each other (2). Neah’s melodic tone underlined Allen’s British lilt. “We missed you, so much~! Ha!” Allen leaned against his chest and tilted his head back to look at Komui. He reached his only arm up and traced his brushed his thin fingers against Komui’s currently pale face. “We wanted you…to come here so very much, Komui. We even screamed so loud for you. Didn’t you hear us~?”_

_Komui opened and closed his mouth several times before he was able to speak. “Allen…Neah….o-or both of you, I came here as soon as I could. Yes, I did h-hear you all. As s-soon as I-I did, I ran even faster to g-get to all of you.”_

_“Oh, we do believe you~!” Allen-Neah paused to cough up an immensely large mouthful of blood. He smiled in the way that only a Noah could, his lips demonically stretched literally all the way to his ears, showing his bloodied sharp teeth. Both his eyes reflected pain and malevolence through cold mercury and blazing gold. “But, we want to play with you like Tyki and Road played with us. After all, it’s only fair to share, **right~**?” The white haired teen accentuated his question by gripping Komui’s hair and yanking him down near his face. “ **Hmm~?** ” (3)_

_Komui turned his head as much as he was able to when he felt something latch painfully tight onto his legs. He let out a panicked gasp of fear when he saw Kanda and Lavi clawing at each of his legs._

_“L-l-let me go! Stop! You all need to stop!” he shouted in terror as he desperately tried to get the four mutilated teens off of him. Tears started to flow down his face. He felt trapped. He couldn’t escape. “You guys aren’t the r-real Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, and Allen! Y-You c-can’t be!”_

 ** _"Of course we’re real, Komui,”_ ** _the four of them said harshly. **“…You always said you would be there for us, but you weren’t! Now look what happened to us! So now we’re going to make you feel all the pain that we went through~.**  _

_“Gah! No! Stop! Stop it! AHHH!”_

* * *

 “Gah!”

 Komui lurched awake with a violent start. He was panting and sweating heavily. He could feel his body shaking as it tried to regulate itself. His heart beat painfully in his chest and the sound pounded harshly in his ears. Bright sunlight hit him in the face which caused him to look at the window; it looked to be about midday. Confused, he looked around the room and saw that he was in his office on the couch with a warm blanket covering him.

 How did he get here? The last thing he remembered was frantically sifting and shuffling through his notes and documents at his desk that might have given him some sort of clue to help the four teen exorcists helplessly lying in the infirmary.

 “Whoa there, Chief! You alright?” (4)

 Startled, Komui turned sharply to his right to see Reever standing about two feet away from him. The Australian man looked quite tired and he had dark bruises underneath his eyes. Komui felt a little pang of guilt for making him and the other scientists work so hard. Reever had one hand in the pocket of his white lab coat while the other was holding Komui’s white beret. Komui felt the top of his head to find that he must have knocked off his beret in his fitful sleep.

 Komui tried to ignore the shuddering that racked his body, a consequence from the petrifying nightmare he had just experienced only moments ago. Taking a closer look at the other man, Komui realized that his vision was blurry. Touching the bridge of his nose, he discovered that he had accidently knocked his glasses askew slightly. “…Komui?” Komui realized he must have taken too long to answer and thus made Reever worry. “O-Oh. Yes, Section Leader,” he stuttered out quietly. “I-I’m okay.”

 The blonde man’s face took upon a look of understanding. He nudged Komui’s feet a bit to make some room on the couch. He sat down and began to speak. “Worried about those kids, huh?” he asked rhetorically. “You shouldn’t. They are made out of some tough stuff. They wouldn’t want you to worry about them.” He paused to twirl Komui’s beret in his hands. “We’re working on figuring out what’s going on. I mean, it’s been less than a full day. We’re good, but not magic. Not for something as difficult as this.”

 “Yes, I know,” Komui smiled slightly. He knew his science department was the best there was. “I’m sorry for making it so hard on all of you. It’s just that…what happened yesterday has never happened before! It’s unheard of! Both the initial attack and what happened in the hospital.”

 Reever and Komui both shuddered as they recalled the god-awful _screams_ they heard from the teens last night in the hospital. That, and the large amounts of blood that stained their clothes as they tried to help the exorcists.

 The moment passed and Reever wearily rubbed a hand over his face and said, “Yeah. Ugh…what are we gonna do?”

 “…I don’t know Reever.”

 “…”

 “…”

 “Reever,” Komui spoke up as he turned to the blonde, “how did I get on the couch? The last thing I remember was working at my desk late last night. It’s noon now.”

 Komui was surprised when Reever flashed a small smile at him and plopped the beret back on his head. “You fell dead asleep right at your desk, Chief! Me and Johnny carried you to the couch and covered you up. You really looked like you need those few hours.”

 Komui stared at Reever slightly surprised, and then he offered a tentative smile in return. “Thank you, Reever. It’s quite appreciated.”

 “Not a prob, Komui,” Reever said as he got up from the couch. He turned and patted Komui’s shoulder. “Now, why don’t we go visit the kids, huh? We can pick up Johnny on the way there.”

 This time Komui flashed a bright smile at his fellow scientist.

 “I do believe that is an excellent idea, Section Leader~!”

* * *

 When Komui and Reever found Johnny, the three scientists headed straight to the infirmary. Upon their arrival, they were greeted by the Head Nurse.

 “Hello, all,” the older woman greeted them kindly. “The children are in the same room as last time. You’re free to visit them.”

 “You read our minds, Head Nurse. We’ll just be getting out of your way now,” Reever said.

 Komui, Reever, and Johnny weaved their way through the hustle and bustle of the other nurses and doctors scuttling throughout the infirmary and walked toward the private room that the four teens occupied. When they reached the door they paused.

 “Do you hear that?” Komui asked his two companions.

 Johnny’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Hear what?”

 “Yeah, I don’t hear anything,” Reever added.

 “Exactly. Don’t you think it’s strange that it is _dead_ silent in there?” Komui pointed out.

Reever and Johnny looked at each other. They seemed to come to some kind of quick conclusion. They hurriedly opened the door and stepped right in. Komui trailed in right behind them, observing every detail he could of everything in the beige colored room. (5) Nothing seemed amiss in here.

 Nothing other than the four exorcists themselves.

 All of them were quietly lying in their beds, sitting up against large pillows. They had their wounds tended to again. They were calm now, quite a difference from the wild writhing, thrashing, and screaming that happened last night. Each of them was awake now. Normally this would be a cause of celebration, but not right now. Right now, they were completely still and silent, staring off with blank eyes into nothingness.

 “Komui…what…what happened to them?” Johnny asked, fear and worry lacing his voice.

 “…I don’t know, Johnny.” Komui replied tentatively.

 Johnny moved toward his white-haired friend first. “…Allen,” Johnny murmured sadly. Komui and Reever turned to look at Allen as well. The Brit still looked like a mummy with all the bandages and cotton patches that covered his wounds. He looked even paler than he did yesterday; all of the blood that he lost last night made his condition even worse. Against his white face, the bruises underneath his eyes made Allen look even more exhausted. His pale complexion made his curse mark stand out a stark red. Their gazes drifted to Allen’s left shoulder. Gone was his left arm, his Innocence. All that was there was the black capped shoulder with the black spike-like tattoos and a cross. Without his arm, Allen seemed so much smaller…so frail.

 “So his Crown Clown is really gone…?” Johnny asked quietly.

 “It seems to be that way, Johnny,” Reever answered in a low voice.

While Allen’s missing arm did really bother Komui, what perturbed the Chinese man the most was Allen’s eyes. Allen’s eyes were blank, so utterly blank. Dull grey orbs stared at nothing. Komui was put off by the lack of spirit he would regularly see within those normally passionate mercury eyes. Allen in general just seemed devoid of life.

 “…Kanda’s in the same state, it seems,” Reever spoke again as he crossed his arms and leaned heavily against the wall between Kanda’s and Allen’s beds, directing everyone’s attention to the Japanese exorcist.

Kanda, like Allen, was staring at absolutely nothing. Kanda could normally give someone a blank stare, and it still would come across as annoyance or some other _emotion_ like that. Now, however, this emptiness in his dark cobalt eyes was absolute. No annoyance, no anger, no nothing. There was nothing that resembled Kanda in that blank gaze. It eerily reminded Komui of the blank eyes that were on Kanda’s face when he was lying on top of Alma Karma’s pool in the North American branch. It did not seem like Kanda then, and it certainly did not seem like Kanda now.

Right now, Komui would have pleasantly welcomed one of the infamous arguments between Kanda and Allen. Even coming back from their previous missions severely injured, the two of them would always find a way to annoy the hell each other from across hospital beds. Their intense bickering and bantering would have at least let Komui know for certain that they were alright.

“Same with Lavi, too,” Johnny said morosely.

Lavi’s utter silence easily disturbed them all. The red-headed rabbit was almost never silent. The only time he was silent was when he was doing his Bookman duties, which required the utmost focus and seriousness. Even if it meant the destruction of his office or any other part of the Order, Komui was aching just to hear the aftermath of Lavi’s mischievous and over the top pranks, just to get rid of this god-awful _silence._

Lavi’s burned arms, which had started to bleed again last night, were freshly bandaged. The bruises on the visible parts of his body looked even more painful.

The pseudo-bookman had his head leaning back and onto his shoulder. Komui, Reever, and Johnny were still able to see his eye. The vibrancy that his emerald eye usually held was gone. A blank jade replaced the happy emerald, eerily reminding Komui of the cold glare that Lavi gave him in his earlier nightmare. Komui twitched slightly at the unpleasant reminder. 

Remembering his horrid nightmare from earlier drew his attention from the motionless redhead to his little sister. “Lenalee…” he breathed as he clenched his fists and bit his lip. He hated seeing her like this—this lackluster state devoid of life. Her eyes were half-lidded, obscuring the now cloudy, dark purple orbs. They were so unlike the spirited, bright violet eyes that normally lit up his sister’s face.  

Her left arm, the arm that had been injured and reinjured again in last night’s struggle, was now bandaged again and was resting in a sling.

“Dear sister, please wake up…” he whispered quietly as he reached his hand to grasp her much smaller one. Her hand felt cold, the pleasant warmth that the human body generated was absent. He gave her hand a light squeeze, hoping to cause any sort of reaction from his sister—a twitch, a jerk, anything. Sadly, Lenalee did not change in the slightest. She remained lifeless…just like a little porcelain doll sitting on a shelf for display. No movement. No sound. No life within her eyes.

Silence reigned in the private room as Komui, Johnny, and Reever looked on sadly at their comatose friends. The air in the room was heavy; the tension felt like it was pressing down on each of their shoulders. Komui felt like he was being weighed down with heavy chains. The chains reflected his sorrow and helplessness—he felt so because he had no clue as to help his children. The science department was working on finding out what had actually happened. Once they found that out, Komui could figure out a way to cure them and hopefully bring their Innocence back to their original states.

 _Dammit…I don’t know what to do! Why have they digressed like this?_ Komui thought dejectedly. _I don’t know what to do. If only I knew **what** actually happened to them, **then** I would be able to come up with **something** that could help them!_ In his frustration, he ripped off his beret and  dragged a rough hand through his dark hair. After a few minutes of mentally griping at himself, he let go of Lenalee’s cold, motionless hand, though with great reluctance.

The tall scientist sighed as he turned to his fellow scientists. “…So, do either of you have any sort of ideas as to how we can try to arouse them from their comatose states?” Reever and Johnny had looks of concentration on their faces as they tried to come up with ideas.

“I’m drawing a blank. Sorry, Chief,” Reever said with a grimace.

“Me too. I—Wait a sec!” Johnny cut himself off suddenly.

“What is it, Johnny?” Komui asked, quite intrigued. Johnny sounded very excited.

A smile spread on the younger scientist’s face as he elatedly began to say, “We could annoy them! You guys know how Allen gets when someone insults his height, or when Kanda gets addressed by his first name or gets called girly. Or how Lavi gets really mad when someone messes with his books. And Komui, you _must_ know something that annoys the heck out of Lenalee!”

Komui and Reever looked at Johnny with surprised faces for a moment. After a minute, they blinked and seemed to concede to the idea. “You know, Johnny,” Komui said as he rubbed his chin, “that _might_ actually work. But you do realize that if they wake up and hear us insulting them, we will be all but bloody smears on the floor once they are through with us, injuries or no injuries? Right?”

“…”

“…”

“…Yeah,” Johnny squeaked in a suddenly small voice.

“Well, as long as you realize that! We are doing this to help them, and that’s all that matters!” Komui chirruped as he clapped his hands together.  

“On the count of three, let’s start,” Reever said.

“Alright,” Komui nodded his head and began to count off his fingers.

  _Three._

_Two._

_One!_

“Lavi! I accidently burned every single one of your books when I mistook them for fuel for the fireplaces! There’s _nothing_ left of them except ashes!”

“Yuu, your hair makes you look positively girly! I mean, seriously, are you trying to denounce you’re manliness?!”

“Lenalee, I built a whole army of Komurins and set them loose in the Order!”

“You are such a short-stack, Allen. It’s no wonder everyone calls you little Moyashi. You’re short and effeminate, too! Really, you look like a twelve year old girl!”

“Lavi, you’re-AGH!” Reever stopped his insult midway as a golden object slammed straight into his forehead and knocked him clear off his feet, sending him crashing to the floor. “…Ow…what the hell…?” he asked, slightly dazed as he sat up and rubbed his now severely bruised forehead. A painful lump could be seen forming on the Australian’s forehead.

“Reever! Are you okay?!” Johnny exclaimed in concern.

“Yeah…I think so,” he replied. “The hell was that?”

The gold object that sent the blonde man careening to the cold, hard floor suddenly poked itself from behind Reever’s shoulder. “Timcanpy!” Komui shouted in surprise. Yes, it was indeed Timcanpy. The golden golem fluttered from behind Reever’s shoulder and near the man’s face, gently nudging his small body against the scientist’s cheek as if in apology. “Aw, don’t worry, Timcanpy,” Reever said with a light laugh as he petted the golem kindly. “I’m not mad.”  

“Tim,” Komui blinked, still surprised at the little golem, “where have you been all this time? We haven’t seen you around in the entire Order.”

Komui’s dark eyes followed the golem as Timcanpy flew away from Reever to Allen’s bed, fluttering his wings softly as he lowered himself next to the still exorcist. “ _That’s_ where you’ve been the whole time?” Komui asked almost disbelievingly. The man ought to have see the golden golem if he was hiding in the sheets next to Allen; Komui was here almost all the time! “We haven’t seen you at all, Tim. Were you hiding from us the whole time?”

Timcanpy shrugged a feathered wing as he slowly flew up from the bed sheets and onto the British teen’s bare tattooed left shoulder. He curled his tail lightly around Allen’s bandaged neck and rested his feathered wings on the teen’s shoulders. It seemed to Komui that Timcanpy was trying to give Allen a hug.

Allen did not even twitch.

Komui stepped forward to Allen’s bed. “You’ve been with him the entire time, haven’t you?” He asked the golem. Timcanpy bobbed his body up and down in a nod and then seemed to droop, as if all the energy had left the normally energetic golem.

“Tim seems really sad,” Johnny commented with a gloomy look on his face as he helped the dazed Reever off of the floor. “Yeah,” Reever said once he was able to stand up again. “Poor little guy. Tim and Allen are _always_ seen together. Don’t you think it’s strange that with all this commotion, we haven’t seen Tim even once?”   

“That’s a good point Reever. Tim was probably just hiding _because_ all of the commotion _–(bloodscreamspainsagony)-_ but, he was probably with Allen when we weren’t here.”

At the mention of Allen, the three scientists looked at the exorcists lying in their beds who were still currently unmoving and unresponsive. The men deflated. “I guess the insult idea didn’t work, huh?” Johnny muttered dejectedly. Just as Komui was about to answer, another voice rang throughout the room.

“Of course it wasn’t gonna work, you idiots.”

Timcanpy perked up at the voice and uncoiled himself from Allen, whizzing past the stunned scientists and out the door.

“Hey Tim—GAH! God dammit, Tim!” The owner of the voice shouted as he walked through the door. And, lo and behold, it was…

“General Cross!” Komui exclaimed in surprise. (6)

Yes, it was indeed the red-haired womanizing general, Cross Marian. A few months after the Order had declared that Allen Walker had all of his rights as an exorcist frozen and to be thought of as a traitor to the Order, Cross had suddenly appeared. It was to the shock of everyone due to everyone thinking he was deceased. The general had the gall to swagger in right through the front doors—after blowing them up—and say ‘What’s up, fuckers?’ with an easy grin plastered on his face. After the expected shock that left them all speechless and their mouths hanging open, the only question on everyone’s mind had been: ‘How are you still alive?!’ Cross, of course, had answered, ‘I’m too god damn tough to kill, you idiots. Don’t you realize that?’ as if had been obvious. It had been decided not to ask any questions; it was simpler that way. After discovering the Order’s declared status of his missing apprentice, he had calmly walked up to Leverrier and had literally beaten the ever living crap out of him. When he was through, all he had said was, ‘Allen’s gonna be the one to save all your asses, you god damn idiots.” Then he had simply left.

It had been the first time anyone in the Black Order had heard General Cross call his apprentice by his actual name.

After that, they had realized that Cross must actually have a heart under that gruff, alcoholic exterior.

They would never say that to his face, however. They were not suicidal.

Followed by Cross was Bookman and General Froi Tiedoll walking through the door to the room.

“Bookman, General Tiedoll! What are you guys doing here?” Reever asked, surprised.

“We came to see our dear apprentices of course! I wanted to see my precious Yuu!” Tiedoll said.

Bookman nodded. “I heard the strange occurrence about what happened to the children. It is definitely atypical.”  

“Yeah, I’m back,” Cross declared. “I heard what happened to my idiot apprentice. Now tell me—Tim! Get the hell off!” As they looked closer, they could see Timcanpy latched on to the man’s arm, his (extremely) sharp teeth digging into it. The gold little golem seemed to flash its teeth in an obscenely large smile as it let go of Cross’s arm and fluttered toward Allen again. It curled itself back around his neck in a gentle manner.

“Damn golem must be picking up some bad manners from here…” Cross muttered under his breath as he rubbed his arm. He looked at where Timcanpy landed on Allen’s left shoulder. After a second or two, he turned back to Komui. “Now then, what the hell is going on, Komui? My idiot was just fine a day ago just as I was leaving. So why is he missing an arm and acting like he’s in Lala land?” Cross had leaned closer to Komui than the Chinese man would have liked. _Oh Lord, I keep forgetting that Cross **actually** cares about Allen! _ He thought frantically, knowing that if Cross did not like what he would hear, then it would be bad news for Komui.

Komui cleared his throat and quickly took a small step back. “A few hours just after you left, there was a serious attack on the Order. The Noah Tyki Mikk and Road Camelot ambushed the Order with multitudes of Akuma. The Akuma were successfully destroyed, and the two Noah were finally killed by Neah.” Here, Komui noticed Cross’s eyes narrowed a bit in question at the mention of Allen’s uncle. Komui decided to make it a bit clearer. “It had appeared that Neah wanted to be the one to finally end his… ‘family’. Anyway, after Tyki and Road were killed, we all thought it was over; however, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Lenalee still had their Innocence activated. A purple beam of energy shot from a rogue Akuma had hit all of them and knocked them unconscious, also forcibly deactivating their Innocence.”

Now, Cross’s eyes widened almost all that way, and he uttered a sharp “What?!”

Bookman’s and Tiedoll’s eyes also widened in shock, but they said nothing.

Komui nodded solemnly. “A few hours later, during the night, I went to check on them. They all seemed fine, but unconscious and had fevers. Just as I was leaving, they screamed and I saw that they were writhing in their beds. Each of their Innocence broke which seemed to cause them extreme pain—Allen especially. His arm actually _disintegrated_ before our very eyes, but luckily it stopped at his shoulder. As you can see, his arm has the black cap on it like it would when he summons his Sword of Exorcism. This shows that his Innocence was not _completely_ gone, otherwise the piece of Innocence that is currently patched over his heart would have disappeared, and he would have died. The same goes with the other three teens—their Innocence were not completely destroyed; I still have the fragments left of them in my lab.”

After a few moments of heavy silence, Cross walked to one of the vacated chairs and dumped himself in it. He ran a hand through his long red hair and let out a tired sigh. “Shit. We have a serious problem. Dammit all…I need a glass of wine. Scratch that; make that an entire bottle.”

As he looked at Cross, Bookman, and Tiedoll, Komui noticed that they all had morose expressions on their faces. Each of them was looking at their apprentices with this certain gleam in their eyes. It was almost as if…as if they knew something.

Komui narrowed his eyes slightly. “Do any of you know what’s going on? Please, if you know _anything_ , you must tell us! We have to know any and all information so that we can help them.”

Komui and the other two scientists watched as Cross exchanged looks with Bookman and Tiedoll. It seemed to Komui that they were relaying some kind of secret message between themselves. Finally, Bookman and Tiedoll nodded to Cross. Apparently, he was deemed the spokesperson. The general sat up in his chair with a weary sigh and crossed his legs.

He seemed to be collecting his thoughts, and after a few moments he leveled them with a serious red-eyed gaze. “You three better listen up because I’m not going to repeat myself. What I’m about to say _does not_ leave this room. The only reason we’re telling you three pansies this is because our apprentices are on the line here. You so much as breathe a _word_ to _anyone_ about what you hear, you will find yourselves six feet under. Do I make myself _clear_?”

Komui, Reever, and Johnny nodded frantically. They did not want to face Cross when he was on a warpath. The general seemed extremely serious and the scientists sensed that whatever was about to be said was going to be the utmost importance.

“We promise we won’t tell anyone,” they said solemnly.

Cross, Bookman, and Tiedoll nodded. “Good,” Cross said gruffly.

“What you are about to hear is something that not even the Black Order knows about. The only people who know about this are the exorcists themselves, and Hevlaska,” Tiedoll said with a serious face, quite the opposite of his normally goofy and genial demeanor.

Cross began the explanation. “An exorcist and their Innocence have a special relationship. When a piece of Innocence finds an accommodator they are compatible with, they join with that person on multiple levels: physically—in a parasitic type’s case—emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. The exorcist and Innocence form a special union between them. You can say that a piece of Innocence becomes like part of an exorcist’s very being, their very soul. This union is considered sacred; there is nothing else like it in the world.

“When the Order experimented on exorcists to force them to become the accommodators of Innocence, the Innocence rejected those people. They were not the ones that the _Innocence_ chose; they were not their true accommodators. The Order desecrated the sacred union between exorcists and Innocence. Even if the Order managed to force the Innocence to work with an exorcist, the exorcist would not last very long. The exorcist would either die, due to the strain of using an Innocence that was not theirs, or would become a Fallen One, the worse fate the can befall an exorcist. The whole reason that an exorcist becomes a Fallen One is because the wishes, emotions, desires, hopes, and wants of an exorcist are not the same as their Innocence and vice versa. An exorcist and Innocence _must_ be in tune if they wish to work together. That means they must have the same hopes, desires, emotions, etc.    

“Since an exorcist and their Innocence are so deeply in tune with one another, forcibly separating them can be fatal. So when Innocence is forcibly removed like what happened to those brats, it can shatter the exorcist. Something is being _ripped_ right out of the exorcist’s own soul. Right now, their minds are in pieces. They’ve been shredded inside. They lost a _very part of themselves_.”

After Cross had finished speaking, there was silence. Complete and utter silence. To say that the scientists were shocked would be an understatement. Their faces were pale and their eyes bugged out of their heads. Reever was shaking slightly, and Johnny fell into an empty chair with a pathetic, “Oh my god…”

Cross had sounded so personal at the end of his explanation. It made them all wonder. “C-Cross,” Reever stuttered out shakily, “You sound like you p-personally experienced what you explained at the end of your…speech. Did you…?”

Cross seemed very reluctant to answer. The red-haired man frowned as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned heavily back in the chair. His voice was sour as he began his tale, “…Yeah, I did. After I had finished speaking to Allen about the Fourteenth and gone back to my room. I got a visitor. It was that damned cardinal. Turns out, he wasn’t actually a cardinal, but the fucking Apocryphos. Damn bastard _ripped_ Judgment away from me and forced him to turn on me.” Komui noticed that Cross referred to Judgment as a ‘he’ and not an ‘it’. “I thought I was going to die. I mean I was fucking _bleeding_ everywhere, after all. But…Maria got me out of there. Was thanks to her I didn’t die. I was a _wreck_ afterwards. I honestly don’t remember much. I knew that Maria took care of me, know it for a fact. When I was finally coherent enough and actually able to function, I realized I had lost some serious weight. When I asked Maria how long I had been in Lala land, I found out that it had been several months! …Now, what does that tell you…?”

Komui himself was deeply taken aback. He had no idea what was truly going on between an exorcist and their Innocence. It was so deep, so sacred, and so utterly shocking. This revelation blew away whatever knowledge Komui thought he had been certain of about Innocence. His mind was in a state of turmoil due to all the troubling thoughts whizzing around in his head. He thought back to the main atrium and when Allen had said he could not hear Crown Clown and how that had made the other three teens react so extremely. Then he remembered last night in the hospital when Allen again had said he could not hear Crown Clown and how it had made the teen cry so miserably.

It all suddenly made sense to Komui.

“…Yesterday, Allen had said he couldn’t hear Crown Clown. When he said that, Lavi, Lenalee, and Kanda had looked shocked. Last night in the infirmary, Allen had again said he couldn’t hear Crown Clown, and he began to cry. When he said ‘I can’t hear’, it’s because…” Komui trailed off.

“It’s because he literally can’t hear Crown Clown. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but…” Cross paused as he growled slightly and again, roughly dragged a hand through his hair, “every person in the world has this thing called an inner world. It’s their mindscape. Most people don’t have the mental ability to enter into their own mindscape. The most that they can do is brush around it. Usually happens when people ‘go to their happy place’. Anyway, exorcists can enter their inner worlds whenever they feel like it. Exorcists’ inner worlds are a bit different. They are the embodiment of an exorcist’s soul. They reflect what their soul is like. Feelings, thoughts, emotions—they can all effect the state of the inner world. Inside the inner world, is an exorcist’s Innocence. An exorcist can communicate with their Innocence just like they can communicate with a normal human being in everyday life. When it’s suddenly silent in their heads and they can’t hear their Innocence, an exorcist knows that something is seriously wrong.” (7)

“I knew the idiot had a special relationship with Crown Clown, but I didn’t realize it was to the point he would cry over it…” Cross muttered to himself.

“What was that, Cross?” Komui asked, even though he heard the general just fine.

“Nothing!” Cross snapped. “Now, I’m going to say this one thing: the more you understand what goes on between exorcists and Innocence, the better you will be able to help those brats. So I’m going to give you a hint,” he said as he began to stand up. He walked toward Allen first. Cross took off his hat and gently placed it on Allen’s head.

Tiedoll, Bookman, and Cross headed toward the door to leave. After Tiedoll and Bookman left after checking over their respective apprentices, Cross turned and said, “Remember those damn journals every exorcist is given is soon as they walk through the Order’s doors!” Then he strolled out of the door.

It was just like Cross to enter a room and then leave it in a stunned silence. It was exactly what he did here to Komui, Reever, and Johnny. “Holy hell, what have we just unearthed?” Reever asked, slightly rhetorically and slightly to the others.

“Something that not even Central knows about, Reever.” Komui replied softly. “Thus, it is our duty with this new information to do as much as we can to help Lavi, Kanda, Allen, and Lenalee. And, I now know just where to start.”

“Where?” Reever and Johnny asked.

Komui turned to them with a smile on his face.

“Why, the journals, of course!”

* * *

 Written: 11/6/12; Edited and Published: 12/16/15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (12/6/15) check out my tumblr: ms-musicl0vertheexorcist; this fic is also on FF.Net
> 
> (1) I’m basing their injuries off of what they had in the infirmary last chapter. Just to a (much) more exaggerated extent (and I’m adding some injuries too if you guys didn’t notice).
> 
> (2) If you guys are confused about the voice, it’s like Ichigo Kurosaki’s voice when he uses his hollow powers in the anime Bleach (or when his hollow actually appears as a separate person). Go listen to that is you need clarification. It’s like that, just in Allen’s voice (with Neah’s melodic rhythm.)
> 
> (3) Think of Allen’s face here to be like the one where he gets in all close to the Earl’s face to say “I will kill you and become the Millennium Earl in chapter 189. Well, the Fourteenth said that, but I think you get my point.
> 
> (4) I believe that Reever often addresses Komui as “Chief”, although Reever’s own title is Section Leader and Komui’s is Supervisor. 
> 
> (5) Komui’s the Section Leader of the Black Order for a reason. He’s not always full of goofiness and smiles. He does have a serious side. 
> 
> (6) Yes! I made Cross live! I hated that the manga killed him off via Apocryphos. 
> 
> (7) I was kinda influenced by the shinigami’s relationship with their zanpakouto (sp?) That’s also where the inner worlds come from. If you guys aren’t familiar with this, I was inspired by the anime/ manga Bleach. If you are confused, just go in Bleach’s wiki page and look up shinigami and zanpakouto.


	4. Let's Go on a Scavenger Hunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man.
> 
> Warning: Language—just from Cross, though.

"Komui, I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Yeah, this is a _huge_ invasion of privacy!"

"If they found out we did this, we would be slaughtered! And that's putting it _nicely_!"

"Are you sure there isn't some other way?"

On the way to the teens' rooms, Komui was beginning to get a _wee bit_ irritated by his two fellow scientists. He had given them a perfectly good reason why they were doing this and the manner of how they were doing this. They had been perfectly okay with it when he had first suggested it, yet now they were having doubts.

_Oh my poor science department!_ Komui lamented to himself. _I do believe a need to whip them back into shape when I get the chance…_

* * *

_"Journals…?" Johnny asked. "What journals?"_

_"Like Cross said, they are the journals that every exorcist is given upon walking through the doors of the Black Order," Komui said. "I stated this practice when I became Supervisor of this branch. Other than the exorcists themselves, I am the only one who knows about them~!" The comment was laced with deviousness_

_Just like Komui to do something like that—without telling anyone._

_Reever raised an eyebrow at the Supervisor and asked in a dry voice, "So, what's the big deal with these journals? Are they like diaries or something?" The Australian looked like he was having a hard time believing that the Supervisor was handing out **diaries**_ **.**

_The Chinese man nodded and clapped his hands. "Almost right, Reever. I tell the exorcists these **journals** ," he specifically emphasized the word, "are a way of recording what happens to them in the Black Order. They are for recording what might happen to their Innocence or anything that might be important that can benefit them and us. I tell them that the journals are meant for their eyes only, and that they could reveal information to us only if they wanted to. However, if something called for desperate enough measures, we would be given (reluctant) permission to read the journals. Meaning…"_

_Johnny caught on very quickly. "Meaning that what they wrote in those journals might be able to help us help them!"_

_"Exactly!" Komui exclaimed. "However, there is a drawback to this plan."_

_"What is it?" the Australian man asked. "I can't think of any, Komui. This plan sounds pretty solid to me."_

_"The drawback…is that we would have to go into each of their rooms and search for the journals."_

_And…silence reigned among the three men._

_It was known to everyone in the Order that exorcists liked their privacy, no matter how kind they may be. Now, it was widely known these particular four exorcists were **especially** private people. The only one of them who might be more…inviting than the others might be Lenalee, but that was only because she was used to sharing a lot of things with her brother—and he was the only one she allowed in her room. She did not even allow Miranda into her room. Allen might be the only other one, but that was because of his gentleman-like manners pretty much forced him to do so. Usually he did not like people going through his personal space. However, due to his recent… **personality change** , anyone caught trying to sneak into his room would usually need to spend about two weeks in the infirmary—due to both physical and psychological damage. Kanda…well that was easy. One step into his room and you would be cut to tiny little pieces by Mugen. Lavi absolutely did not allow **anyone**_ _in his room. Bookman had been the only exception when the older man still lived in the Order—and that was only for their Bookman duties. Strangely enough, the only people that were allowed into their rooms freely were each other._

_So, now they were about to go against the Number One Rule (also known as the N.O.R.) in the Order that preserved all of its members' lives: Do not under any circumstances, unless given special permission by these four exorcists themselves, enter the rooms of Lenalee Lee, Allen Walker, Kanda Yuu, or Lavi Bookman._

_Ever._

_And now they were about to do just that._

_Komui's body gave a funny little twitch._

_Dear God, help them all…_

* * *

Komui stopped walking and rounded on his heel to Reever and Johnny. His mouth pulled in a frown and he put a hand on his hip and pointed a finger at them. "Quit your whining! I told the two of you the plan and you were perfectly alright with it. Why are you having second thoughts now?!"

Reever and Johnny cringed a bit, and Komui could tell they were both reluctant to answer. Now, Komui was not _that_ stern to make his fellow workers cringe to get on his bad side was he? Apparently, he was.

As he felt his inner self do a little happy dance with a wicked smile, he let that thought blow up his head (read: ego).

And yet his face remained stern and serious on the outside.

Johnny was the first to speak up, surprisingly. "…Well, yeah. We did think it was a good idea at first. But, look what we are about to do, Komui! We're gonna go against the N.O.R.!" he wailed.

Komui paused before he answered the distraught American. "I…am perfectly aware of that. However, we have a duty to these four kids to do whatever we can to help them. And, if that means we go against the N.O.R., then so be it! We just have to completely keep the fact that we snuck into their rooms and invaded their privacy from them~. See! Easy!"

Reever dutifully face-palmed. "So what room are we going to first?" Komui picked up the tone behind the question. It was somewhere between: _I am walking to my doom. Why haven't I written my will yet?_ —and— _Dear Lord, help me!_

"The easiest is just whoever's room is closer, and that happens to be Lenalee's." Komui's serious/wicked expression graced his featured once again. "The only reason I am allowing you to accompany me into my darling Lenalee's room is because this is necessary. And because when she goes to kill me, I can drag you two along with me."

Really, that was the only reason they were all going into the individual rooms together as a group and not splitting up to search multiple rooms at once.

Plus, searching a lady's room was quite improper. Like Komui said, if Lenalee was going to kill him, he was taking down Reever and Johnny with him.

Well, now their _lovely_ scavenger hunt was about to begin.

May God take pity on them all.

* * *

The first room they came across was Lenalee's room. Reever and Johnny were tense as they remembered what Komui had told them earlier. From the look on their faces, there was no doubt in Komui's mind as to what they were thinking: _If anything gets messed up in Lenalee's room, Komui will sic a special-edition Komurin on us._

Oh how the truth hurt.

As they reached the door, Komui was the first one who tried to enter. Emphasis on the word _tried_. When he grabbed the doorknob and turned t it while trying to push the door open, the door did not open and his nose had a nice meet and greet with the door.

Nice? Oops, _painful_ was the intended word.

Reever and Johnny desperately tried to silence their snickers—only because their self-preservation instinct said that laughing at their higher up was the easiest and fastest was to be tortured by said higher up's (evil) little creations.

"Gah!" Komui rubbed his smarting nose as he backed away from the door. Then he adjusted his glasses back to their proper place. "Locked. This makes our jobs harder, then."

"Leave it to me, Komui!" Johnny proclaimed as he stepped in front of the two other men. From one of the many pockets of his pants, he pulled out two sticks and held them for Komui and Reever to see. One was a bit larger and longer than the other. The other was thin and only a few centimeters shorter than the first stick. "I can pick the lock!"

Once again, there was silence. However, Komui and Reever were both silent for different reasons.

"Johnny," Reever began to say in a surprised voice, "where…on earth did you learn how to lock-pick?"

"I learned it when I was still in America!" he said proudly. "I would always end of forgetting the keys to my house and I would end up locking myself out by accident. One of my friends was tired of me calling him to help me enter my house again, so he taught me how to lock-pick!"

Reever nodded slowly, still coming to terms with the new knowledge.

Komui broke his silence and asked, "I hope that you won't be using this skill to break into my little sister's room ever again, _will you_?" The threat was perfectly clear as it laced his words.

"N-No! No siree! Not at all! I wouldn't dream of it!" Note that Johnny was very quick to spill out these words.

"Perfect!" Komui chirped as he clapped his hands together delightfully and smiled. "Now open the door."

"…R-right." Johnny bent down on one knee as he lifted his utensils to the key hole. Komui was fascinated by something he did not know how to do, so he paid special attention and watched closely. First, Johnny put the larger metal stick into the hole and began to slowly turn it to the left. He must have found what he was looking for because he stopped. He froze the hand that was holding the large stick—still in the key hole, and raised his right hand to put the smaller, thinner metal stick in. He turned this slowly to the right and after a few minutes he stopped again. In sync, Johnny jiggled the rods up and down for a few short seconds, and a loud click was heard. (1)

"Hah! There we go!" he said with a triumphant grin.

Johnny opened the door, but allowed Komui to step in first. It was his sister's room, after all.

The room was not very large—none of the rooms in the Order were (except for the generals' rooms). However, Lenalee looked like she made due with whatever she had to make her room look nice. Her walls were plain, but had personal touches to them—photos of exorcists, finders, scientists, and others of the Order decorated her walls. Her window was covered with light lavender curtains that had frills on the bottoms. Her bed was covered with white sheets and a thick purple quilt. The three frilly white pillows she had on her bed were lined neatly against the head board of the bed.

In the corner of room was a large bamboo plant, about four feet tall. Tall as it was, it only had a few shoots growing from the pot. Under the single shelf attached to the wall was a large dresser for storing clothes; a mirror was attached to the dresser. A standard-issued desk and chair were set up right under her window. On the desk was a few blank pieces of paper piled in a neat stack, and strangely enough, on the corner of her desk there was a small potted cactus. Komui let a small smile grace his lips as he remembered how Lenalee said she came into possession of the plant. She had told him that Lavi had given it to her as a gift when he was on a mission to one of the American deserts—he didn't say which desert, though. He had said that it could be her roommate and to call it 'Fernando Bobby Jr.'. Bob for short.

(Neither Lenalee nor Komui have yet to hear what happened to Fernando Bobby Sr.)

Speaking of gifts, from the corner of his eye, Komui spotted two little stuffed animals on a shelf that was attached to the wall. Komui fondly remembered that these were the two little stuffed animals he had given Lenalee when he first came to the Order. One of them was a little bunny in a hat had a white coat and glasses. The second was a little girl with long yarn hair and a pretty pink dress. She had button eyes, but that did not make her appeal go away. What drew Komui to this particular doll were the beautiful butterfly wings that adorned the back of the doll. Komui remembered that he had gotten that particular doll because it reminded him of his dear Lenalee.

When he had come to the Order and presented the gifts to his little sister, she gathered them in her arms and squeezed them close to her chest. Then with a beaming smile, she had told him that she would name the rabbit Komui II because it looked like him, and that the girl doll's name was Lena because the doll had long hair like her and butterfly wings—and butterflies were Lenalee's favorite creature of nature.

Komui was jarred out of his thoughts when he heard Reever speaking to him. "I'm sorry, Reever. Could you repeat that? My mind was somewhere else, I'm afraid."

"Yeah, what would the journal look like?" Reever asked again.

"It would be a simple black journal, with the word 'JOURNAL' printed on the cover and spine. I gave them simple ones so they could add any personal touches that they wanted to them."

"Well I guess we just start looking." Johnny commented.

And look they did. Komui searched through Lenalee's more personal areas of her room like her bed and dresser, while he left Reever and Johnny to search her desk, shelf, etc. In the middle of his searching, Komui thought for a moment. _Where would be the most likely place Lenalee would keep her journal?_ He already checked underneath the mattress and it was not there. Komui knew it had to be somewhere in the area of her bed—he was fairly sure that girls put important things around their beds. If it was not under her mattress, where could it be?

That's when Komui was struck with a moment of divine revelation.

The man snapped his fingers as he dived for one of her frilly covered pillows. He felt the first one—nothing out of the ordinary. Then he felt the second one—same as the first. Then the third one—"Ah hah!" In the back of the pillow, Komui felt a hard rectangular object that was definitely not part of the pillow. He took off the pillow case and, lo and behold, out fell the journal.

"Reever! Johnny! I got the journal!"

Reever turned from the shelf where he was looking in between several cookbooks, and Johnny looked up from where he was on his knees by the bamboo plant. "You seriously got it?" Reever asked.

"Yes! Now fix everything the way it was so we can leave!"

* * *

The next room on the list was Kanda's.

After Johnny picked the lock and they entered the room, Komui hurriedly—but quietly—shut the door and locked it. He cast a serious gaze on the two men. "Other than Allen's room, this is probably going to be the most dangerous room. We must make sure _everything_ is in the _exact_ place it was before. Not even a centimeter off! If he catches us, he _will_ flay us within an inch of our li—no, he won't even do that. He will _cut us up_ into tiny, painful little scientist pieces! Then he'll cut those scientists pieces into even _smaller_ scientist pieces! Understand?!"

Johnny and Reever nodded, eyes wide on their now clammy and white faces.

And Komui successfully scared Johnny and Reever even more.

With that threat-warning-whatever spoken, Komui was able to calm himself ever so slightly and look around the room, examining it.

Like Lenalee's room, Kanda's room was small. But unlike Lenalee's room, Kanda's room only had the bare minimum, quite Spartan. The only furniture that was in there was what the Order puts in every room: a small bed and a desk and one shelf that was attached to the wall. It made Komui sad to see that Kanda did not personalize his room very much. Komui knew that Kanda did not even own very many things—only what they Order provided him. That fact made Komui even sadder.

However, what did make Komui feel a bit better was to see Kanda _did_ add just a few personal touches. The biggest one was the window. Instead of regular glass, the window was a beautifully ornate stain-glass window. There were no curtains on the window, but Komui guessed that would have taken away from the beauty of the stain-glass.

Kanda's bed was covered in plain gray sheets and had a simple white pillow on it. At the foot of his bed was a large chest, which Komui knew was for storing clothes. Looking at the chest, his attention was drawn to the floor. Cold, harsh concrete.

There was nothing on the shelf on the wall, only dust. Kanda's desk was under the window—Komui suspected that pretty much everyone in the Order put their desks under their windows for better light; the rooms were pretty much dark when the sun went down—poor lighting. On his desk were scattered papers and pens. Komui suspected that Kanda had probably hastily written a mission report before this…situation occurred.

From his peripheral vision, an hourglass caught Komui's eye from Kanda's brown wooden bedside table. Komui took a few steps before he was standing in front of the hourglass. Floating in the hourglass was one pink lotus blossom. There were several petals at the bottom of the hourglass, but the lotus blossom still had plenty of petals on it. Komui felt a frown pull at his lips slightly. There were not many things that Komui disliked in this world—or even hated. But, this hourglass fit into one of the things that he _hated_. This lotus mocked Kanda's life. It was a measure of how long he had to live—this little dainty flower was the hindrance to the fierce Kanda Yuu. And, it all tied into the curse tattooed on his chest.

So, yes. Komui hated the damn lotus flower-hourglass-thing.

But, Komui shook his head, clearing away all those negative thoughts. _No, I mustn't think like that. Negative thoughts will do me no good. Focus on the positive—focus on finding Kanda's journal, Komui._

Leaving his negative thoughts behind, Komui wondered where Kanda would keep his journal. Really, there were not many places the teen could hide it; the room was almost Spartan in a way. There were no books on the bookshelf, Reever and Johnny already searched his bed, and Komui knew Kanda was not the person to keep his journal with in his clothes chest.

So where would it be?

"Reever, Johnny…I can't think where Kanda would keep his journal. We looked everywhere!" Komui said, annoyed at himself.

Reever and Johnny exchanged a look before looking at Komui. "Did you look under the bedside table, Chief?"

"Under the-?" Komui blinked. Why would he? All there was under that little table was the concrete floor. "Of course not, Reever. All that's there is the concrete floor."

"I meant actually _right under_ the table, Chief. Maybe he taped it under there or something."

"Taped it under-? That's preposterous, Section Leader!" Komui dipped down to his knees to check anyway. "Kanda couldn't be that predictable to—"

And there taped on the underside of the brown little bedside table was one little black journal.

"…I guess he _can_ be that predictable. Reever, Johnny, when this is all over and done with, we are teaching Kanda how to play hide-and-go-seek. Even though it's a game for people, maybe he'll learn how to hide things better…"

* * *

Komui checked his watch, black metal hands letting him know that it was four-thirty in the afternoon. Two rooms down and two to go. It should have been easy, right? Wrong. They left Kanda's room and headed to Lavi's since their rooms were on the same floor. Unfortunately, they forgot that while Kanda's and Lavi's rooms were on the same floor, Timothy's room was _also_ on that exact floor.

So naturally they ran into the one and only Timothy Hearst.

The continuous _click-clack_ sound of speedy wheels on stone alerted them to their new visitor. Komui panicked. They could not get caught now, even by a small child! They were so close. But, there was nowhere to hide! The three men looked desperately around for somewhere they could go: a room, another corridor, a _window_ even. But Lady Fate decided not to smile upon them today and instead decided to keep them in this hallway that had no way of escape—no windows, no doors, no adjacent hallways—nothing.

Within their few minutes of distracted panicking, Timothy was able to catch up with them. He rolled up and around to the front of their motley little group. A cheshire grin was plastered on his face. "Sooo," he dragged out, "what'cha doin'?" Komui could tell from the unholy grin on his face that although the little blue-haired boy did know _exactly_ what they were doing, he did know that it was something important. "Something, Timothy." Komui answered. "And we need to hurry. So you must move, please."

"I saw you leave Girly-Man's room. Ooooh~! When he finds out, you guys are gonna be in _soooo_ much trouble!"

"Timothy! You can't tell _anyone_ that we are here!"Johnny said.

The young Innocence user cocked his head to the side, grin still on his face. "Why not? You guys are breakin' the N.O.R."

Komui supposed that right now, honesty was the best policy. "We're looking for something that could help Allen, Lavi, Kanda, and Lenalee."

Timothy straightened his form from its formerly relaxed posture, grin disappearing from his face and he blinked. "Clown-bro?"

Komui nodded. "Yes, I suppose you've heard what happened to them, yes?"

Timothy nodded and a sad look marred his normally happy, young face. He scrunched up his eyebrows and crossed his arms in a self-conscious manner. "Y-yeah…I heard. I wanted to see Clown-bro—and the others, too—but the Nurse lady won't let any visitors in!" He stomped his foot, the wheels of his roller-skate clacking loudly. "It's not fair!"

The group looked on silently as they watched Timothy sniffle and desperately try to prevent any tears from falling out of his overly bright eyes. The child itched his eyes and sniffed some more.

Komui's face softened. He felt bad for Timothy. One, he knew that Timothy hated to cry—especially in front of other people. Secondly, Timothy was not allowed to see his friends. The only ones who knew the true condition of the four exorcists were their masters, the Head Nurse, and Komui, Johnny, and Reever. No one else knew exactly what happened to them. All that they knew was that they were badly injured. Because of the sensitive nature of the situation, the only people who could visit Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, and Lavi were the ones who knew the true nature of the situation. No one else was allowed to visit, unfortunately.

The dark haired man walked forward and gently set a hand on the child's messy blue hair. Timothy blinked and the frustrated and sad look melted from his childish face, replaced by a slightly surprised one. Still with one hand on Timothy's head, Komui sank down to one knee and made eye contact with the young Hearst, using his free hand to wipe the tears from the French boy's damp eyes. Komui's eyes were kind and his smile was gentle. In a soothing voice he told the boy, "Don't worry, Timothy. They wouldn't want you to cry over them, especially Allen. They're just resting up so that they'll be at one hundred percent strength to visit you! Yes, they got hurt, but the Head Nurse is taking care of them. I'm sure when he's all rested up, your Clown-bro will be very happy to see you. So, why don't you hang out with the other scientists? Maybe they can help you make something for Allen. You know how much he likes your little gifts, right?"

Timothy rubbed his eyes and bobbed his head in a little nod, giving Komui a small smile. "Y-yeah. 'Kay. Thanks, Komui."

Komui watched still bent down as Timothy skated away from the group and probably on his way to the science department. Komui stood up and dusted off his white pants as he turned to Johnny and Reever. "Well, let's get going!"

All they just did was stare at him.

"…What?"

They stared some more.

"…Komui," Johnny spoke with wide eyes, "since when is Timothy ever that complacent? To anyone?!"

"And since when is he so cooperative with you?! He's like the second coming of Lavi. Most of the time, all he just does is prank you!" Reever exclaimed as they started walking again toward Lavi's room.

Komui shook his head with a fond smile. These guys were used to working more with machines than children. Sure, they were okay with teenagers (for most part), but Komui had more experience than them when it came to children. He had raised Lenalee since their parents had been killed by an Akuma. He was used to tears, sniffles, angry outbursts—the works. Komui knew that Timothy missed his friends dearly, and it was really frustrating him that he could not see them. When Timothy had started to cry in front of them, Komui knew they had been tears of frustration and sadness—and a bit of embarrassment. Timothy had a strong sense of pride and thus hated to cry in front of others. So, Komui knew what to do: he comforted Timothy's unease about of his incapacitated friends. Soft words and a kind smile were the best approach to ease a child's mind—even a child as crass as Timothy Hearst.

Komui responded their questions. "All I'm going to say is if you had raised a kid, you would understand."

Before they knew it they were in front of the red-haired pseudo-bookman's door. "You know the deal, Johnny."

Johnny picked the lock in under a minute. _Really"_ Komui mused half impressed and half amused as he stepped through the door, _he's quite good at this._

What hit Komui first was the sharp smell of ink and the musk of parchment (and they typical teenage boy smell). "Holy crap!" Reever shouted behind him. Holy crap, indeed. If Kanda's room was the bare minimum, then Lavi's room was a mess. And that was an understatement.

His room was a little larger than Kanda's room, but Komui seemed that Lavi must have guessed that meant more room for all his mess. Lavi had large wooden bookshelves that were as tall as the ceiling, all filled with multitudes of different books. His stone walls were all covered with different newspaper clippings and maps. Closer inspection of the maps showed them to be very detailed maps of Africa, Europe, the Americas, Russia, the poles, and the Orient. Throughout his room, there were tall stacks of papers—as tall as the bookshelves—that looked to be random, but Komui could not have known for sure. They looked precariously balanced, like they were about to fall down at the slightest touch. (2)

His bed and desk were the only semi organized spots in the teen's room. The desk was, like the other rooms, under the window—which had been drawn with mahogany colored curtains. As Komui _carefully_ stepped toward the desk he could see that there were scattered mission reports that Lavi _still_ had not turned in. Komui sniffed. Well, he guessed he could not really be the one to reprimand Lavi when he himself still had not done his paperwork that still littered the floor of his office. Komui turned to Lavi's bed and saw a few open, large books spread across the cream sheets. There was a particularly large one that was propped up against a big green pillow.

"You know, considering Lavi's been a Bookman and still kinda is, I'd a thought that his room would be neater than this," Johnny commented.

"How…how in the hell are we supposed to search this mess?!" Reever shouted as he looked at the room dismally.

"Only one way to find out, Reever," Komui said as he adjusted his glasses as a determined look came upon his face. "We just have to start."

And start they did. Komui felt like they had been searching for at least an hour now. It took Komui half an hour to search between all the books in only one of Lavi's bookshelves, and the other half hour he had spent searching _in_ the books. Komui's head swam with all the different titles and things he read from Lavi's shelf. Lavi had a _wide_ range of subjects—Arithmetic; Geometry; French, Russian, English, Italian, and Spanish literature; history of the Fine Arts; folktales from the Middle East and the Oriental counties; even books on engineering! There were many more subjects, but they were too many to list.

"Ugh…" Komui removed his glasses and wearily rubbed his dark eyes.

Komui now thought he agreed with Reever's earlier question. How in the hell would they find the journal in this mess? "Ah!" A loud shout from behind him pulled Komui out of his thoughts. He spun sharply on his heel and turned to see poor Johnny buried under a large pile of papers and magazines that had fallen on him. Reever was trying—and failing—to dig him out.

"Johnny!" The Chinese scientist shouted. He turned to the Australian. "What happened?!"

Reever paused in his struggle to save his friend from death by paper suffocation. "We were just about to search through this huge stack of papers and magazines, and just as Johnny took one paper out, the whole damn thing fell on top of him!"

Johnny's muffled voice came through the multitudes of papers. Komui and Reever looked at each other. "What?" Reever asked. Komui shrugged his shoulders as he and Reever started to dig through the messy pile. Within five minutes, the managed to free Johnny. The American sat up sharply and took in a large breath of air. His thick glasses were knocked askew and he had a lopsided grin on his face. "Heh, heh heh! Thanks, guys. I thought I was gonna be trapped in there forever!"

"Not a problem, Johnny." Reever grinned back.

"And, hey! Look what I found!" In his held up hand was the exact object they were looking for: Lavi's journal.

Komui paused and blinked owlishly as he stared at the journal in Johnny's hand. "How…"

Johnny gave a small laugh. "When the pile fell on me, the journal kinda fell on my face."

Reever was the one who spoke this time. "Wow," he said as he pulled Johnny up from the mess of papers and magazines. "I'll be damned. I don't think we have been this lucky in a while."

"Yeah!" Johnny said with a huff as he adjusted himself. "But let's get out of here. This place is such a mess that Lavi will probably think that the tower of papers fell down on its own."

Now that Komui looked around the room for a second time, Komui took back his earlier statement about Lavi's room. Yes, the bedroom was a mess, but it was an organized mess. Lavi seemed to have his own little system for 'organizing' all the books and papers and magazines in his rooms. It was organized chaos.

And that was just like Lavi was as a person—a mass of chaos that could be kept under control. It was a paradox, but it made sense.

"Yes," Komui said. "One more room to go."

Yeah, one room to go—the hardest room; the room that would come with the most repercussions if they were caught.

The room of one Allen Walker.

* * *

Allen's room was not on the same floor as Lavi and Kanda. When Allen became a general, he had been moved out of his room and into the generals' wing. Of course, he had refused at first, and it had taken Kanda, Lavi, _and_ Link to drag him to his new quarters. A general's room was _much_ larger and grandiose than a normal exorcist's room. The British teen had said that it did not make sense for him to get better living arrangements than his friends just because he was of a higher rank. He had put up a fight between the four of them, and it took a while for Link to slap some seals on him. Even with the seals on him, the two exorcists and one (ex) Crow had a tough time getting him to his new room.

It was mostly Neah's fault.

Anyway, since they had to sneak through the generals' wing, it was going to be very difficult. If they were caught by them, all of their hard work would be down the toilet. Komui was very, very much hoping that they would not run into any of the generals. Cross and Tiedoll would understand; they were the ones who suggested about the journals (well, Cross did).

Their fast-paced steps echoed throughout the stone corridors. They had to hurry before they ran into anyone. Within a few minutes, they could see the French double doors of Allen's room just up ahead which was at the end of this hallway. Yes! They were almost there! And just as they were a few steps from Allen's room, a gruff, deep voice resonated throughout the corridor. "Hello, retards."

Reever spewed a colorful string of profanities in surprise and Johnny let out a startled shriek as they both spun around. Komui flinched at the unexpected voice but remained calm. He turned slightly to the right and faced the voice that resonated from a hallway that conjoined with the one they were in. Obscured partially by the shadows, leaning on the wall was none other than General Cross. The red-haired man had his long tresses tied back and was not wearing his exorcist coat. A cigarette rested in his mouth and Komui watched as lazy smoke clouds drifted from the thing. The general had a glass of some sort of amber liquid close to his mouth in his left hand, and his right hand supported his elbow. Under closer inspection, Komui could take a pretty good guess and say that it was either some sort of brandy or scotch. (3)

"Hello, Cross," Komui said politely.

He nodded his head to the man, "Komui." Then he nodded at Reever and Johnny, "Retards." Komui had a strong feeling that the only reason Johnny and Reever did not want to say something back to the (rude) womanizing general was because they did not want to be killed be him.

Smart men.

Cross took an idle sip from his glass. "So, what are you science people doing up here in the _generals'_ wing?" he muttered from behind the rim of his glass.

Again, Komui decided that honesty would be the best policy. "You told us to look for the journals. We already found three of the teens' journals. All we need to find is Allen's. So, we are searching Allen's room for _his_ journal.

Now that he thought about it, Cross's reaction was quite comical. The red-haired man's still lit cigarette fell out of his mouth and he choked on his sip of alcohol. He pounded his chest a few times, coughed again, and cleared his throat. Cross looked at him with a wide red eye from behind his glasses, and with a slightly scratchier voice than his normal gruff one, he said, "You're going in the idiot's _room_?! Are you crazy?" He said that as if they were about to do something incomprehensible.

Komui was surprised by the general's reaction. He was the one who suggested the whole thing! Why was he so surprised?

"Why so shocked? You were the one who suggested we go look for the journals!"

Cross still looked wide-eyed. "Yeah, I did. But, I didn't think you would actually go into the idiot's _room_! I thought the kid hid his journal somewhere in the Ark or with Tim or something. Jesus fuckin' Christ, _I_ don't even go into my apprentice's room! I don't even _try_ to go into my apprentice's room without his permission. If even _I_ don't go into my idiot's room, what does _that_ tell you? Sounds like pussyfoot move, but the N.O.R. is in the Order for a reason! You think an angry Allen is bad? Try having an angry Allen with an angry Neah to back him up— _with_ full Innocence and Noah powers. I tried going into that room when the idiot wasn't here and I got caught. All I'm gonna say is that it wasn't pretty and I still have scars I got for him-them-whatever."

Komui, Reever, and Johnny looked at the red-haired general with faces as pale as chalk and eyes as wide as dinner plates. _Allen_ gave _Cross_ scars? And _General Cross_ is afraid to go into his _apprentice's_ room? That in and of itself seemed so backwards, and it made them even more worried for what they were about to do.

Cross started to speak again. "So there is no way in hell I'm gonna be anywhere _near_ here when you guys are ransacking through my idiot's room. I'm just going to say this one thing…" He paused.

"Good luck not dying when you're caught." And with that he turned around swiftly walked down the hallway he had been leaning on, away from the group of gaping scientists.

Silence reigned amongst the three men for several minutes before any of them spoke. "Komui…," Reever asked in a quiet voice quite uncharacteristic of the Australian man.

"…Yes, Section Leader?"

"…What the _hell_ have we gotten ourselves into…?"

"…"

"…"

"…I don't think I know anymore."

"…"

"Johnny, just…just pick the lock so we can get this over with."

"S-Sure thing, Komui."

In no time at all, Johnny picked the locks to the double French doors of Allen's room. He took a step back and they all looked at the doors for a second or two, pretty much mentally preparing themselves for what they were about to do. Komui took a deep breath, stepped forward, and pushed the doors in. They quickly stepped inside, closed the doors, and locked them. Then they stood on a large and circular wine-red rug in the middle of Allen's room, _gaping_ at Allen's room.

Sure, they knew that a general's room was glamorous, but Allen's room was simply beautiful. It was a balance of light and dark. It had a calming feeling to it, yet there was also an eerie air present in the room as well. (4)

The walls were painted a creamy white and the trims were a deep black. Some of the walls were a plain cream while others had patterns painted on them—checkered, thatched, or long swirls—they were painted delicately in gleaming raven-black. A little ways in front of them was a large canopy bed, large enough to fit three people comfortably, four people semi-comfortably. The sheets were black silk and the pillows were large and silver. The thick curtains that spilled in waves around the canopy were a deep russet color that to Komui, looked jarringly like dried blood. On each side of the bed was a small table with a lamp on each side. At the end of the bed was what looked to be a ball one would normally see at a circus, strangely enough; it was about the size of a human child. It was a deep purple with silver and gold stars on it. Next to the circus ball was a chest, one normally used to hold clothing.

A large semicircle bloated the room's walls outwards on the left side. What lined these walls were a bookshelf and large floor-to-ceiling windows, the borders trimmed in a tasteful black. The curtains of these windows were the russet-blood color like the curtains of the canopy bed were. In this area, Allen had a large pillowed chair that sat next to a wooden round table. Around the –table were two smaller wooden chairs. On the table were an open book and an empty porcelain cup. Next to the large pillowed chair was a fireplace that was currently dead, no flames and embers warming the room and dispersing it with its pleasant smell. Above the fireplace was a framed eerie poster of…well, Komui was not sure. It looked to be of a creepy shackled clown that was being led somewhere. It was holding a large coffin on its back and had unnatural features. Since it was framed and looked to be kept in good condition—it was polished and gleaming in the light—it must have had some significant meaning to Allen. That meaning, however, was lost to Komui.

On the right side of the room, the floor leveled down as steps led to a large piano. The wall on this side was an entire glossy and gleaming mirror, reflecting the figures of Komui, Johnny, and Reever right back at them. The piano was not a large one, certainly not as large as a baby grand piano, but it was still a decent size. The piano looked to be well cared for; it was a glossy silver—a sign of being well polished. There was no dust on the piano, and honestly, it looked like it was brand new. But, Komui had the feeling it was not.

Sitting against to the mirror wall, being supported by black metal stands, were a large cello and a good-looking violin. Komui guessed that Allen had really taken a liking to the art of music since his merge with his Noah genes. Before he came to the Order, Allen had told Komui that he did not have the ability to even _play_ an instrument. Komui heard Allen play his piano once, and that was through a communicator when the white-haired teen was on the Ark.

_Now that I think about it, it is kind of strange that Allen hasn't played for us. I haven't heard any kind of music from him since the Ark incident._ Was Allen embarrassed to play in front of them? Komui did not know.

Continuing his examination of the room, Komui saw a door in the one of the corners of the large room. The tall man suspected that is was probably a closet, and looking inside he was right. It was almost bare, just a few of Allen's heavier winter wear and his one good tuxedo hanging. What was quite perplexing was the large pile of broken glass that looked to be thrown at the back of the closet. _Why on earth would this be here? Why not dispose of it?_ He decided not to dwell on it for too long as there was more searching to do. Perhaps the reason would be stated in Allen's jounral. There was also another door, this one being open, and Komui could see that the room the door opened to was a private bathroom.

"…Allen's room is…" Reever trailed off.

"Wow," Johnny supplied.

"Yeah, wow."

Shaking himself out of his daze, Komui turned to his two companions. "Even though Allen's room is large, it is a _lot_ neater than Lavi's room was. However, there are a lot of places in this room where he could have hid his journal in this room. Also, need I remind you that we must put everything back in its _exact place_?"

"No," came the collective answer.

"Good. Why don't we each just start with a section of the room, hmm?" Komui suggested.

"I'll take the bookshelf area since I know Johnny wouldn't want to go near any books for a while," Reever said.

"Thanks, Reever," Johnny said half sarcastically and half actually meaning it. "I'll look around the piano and the other instruments."

Komui nodded. "Then I will take his bed, bedside tables, and the chest. Hopefully we'll all find something soon. Then we won't need to spend any more time in here than we have to."

So began the search. Komui could hear Reever flitting through the books, and from the corner of his eye, he could see Johnny carefully searching around the instruments. Komui could see why he was being careful; if any harm came to any of the instruments, Allen—and probably Neah as well—would have their heads. Turning his attention back to his own search, Komui looked through the silk sheets and fluffy pillows of the large bed. He found nothing. He even looked under the bed, and he found nothing (except dust bunnies). Then he looked around and under both of the bedside tables. Again, he found nothing.

Taking a few steps around the bed, he found himself standing in front of the wooden chest at the foot of the bed. His attention flickered to the colorful circus ball and then back to the chest. Komui dipped to the floor and knelt on his knees in front of the chest. To his surprise, the chest was unlocked! With careful hands, the man slowly lifted the chest's lid.

"This feels like an awful invasion of privacy," Komui muttered under his breath, guilt making his stomach turn. "Sorry, Allen."

There were clothes in the chest, but they were not clothes that Komui expected. He had expected travelling cloaks or something of the like. Instead, he surprisingly found clown clothes. He gingerly lifted up one article of clothing. It was child-sized and it was a white full clown suit. It had a large, frilled collar and two large red buttons on the torso of the clown suit. The sleeves were orange and poofy, and the legs were poofy as well, but they were blue. After a moment of looking at the child-sized clown suit, Komui set it pack in the chest. In the chest he could see two pairs of pointy slippers, one pair was child-sized and the other looked to be Allen's current shoe size. The child-sized shoes were brown and the normal sized ones were a dark grey with purple accents. Komui saw another clown suit in the chest and he lifted it up. This one looked to be Allen's size. This clown suit's main color was white, like the child's suit had been. The large frilled collar was a deep purple as were the large frilled cuffs at the arms. The oversized buttons were a deep mahogany-red and so were the arms of the suit. The pants of the suit were just a plain white but they had deep purple stars on them which eerily reminded Komui of the Akuma pentacles he often saw; the legs ended a little past where the knees would be. In the chest, Komui saw stockings that were a striped black-and-red pattern. Also in the chest were little jars of colorful paint—Komui guessed it was face paint—and a small hand mirror.

As Komui set down the large clown suit, a thought occurred to him suddenly. _All this stuff must be from Allen's time in the circus. The child-sized clown suit would make sense, but why would Allen need one that is his size now? Did he ever use it recently?_ Komui chided himself. He should not be so nosy! That was Allen's business, not his. Plus, the clown items were during Allen's time with Mana, his precious person. So, this stuff had a lot of meaning to Allen. Suddenly, Komui's mouth tasted like dirt. He felt like he was desecrating Allen's precious things! He started fixing everything in the chest back to the state it had been before. As he was doing so, his hand bumped into something. He fished around and felt for the object his hand had bumped into, and he pulled it out.

Held in his hand in front of his face was the journal of one Allen Walker.

It took Komui about a minute to comprehend what he had in his hand.

And after the minute passed…

"Johnny, Reever!" he exclaimed ecstatically. "I found Allen's journal!"

"You did?"

"Where was it?!"

"It was in this chest! Let's hurry up so we can leave."

Komui made sure everything was in order in the chest before he closed it gently. He dusted off his knees and turned toward the doors. Before he took a step, he took another glance at the colorful circus ball.

He smiled.

* * *

 

Written: 1/6/13; Published: 1/30/16

check out my tumblr: [ms-musicl0vertheexorcist](http://ms-musicl0vertheexorcist.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My favorite part is the part with Timothy, the run-in with Cross, and Allen's room~! :) What's your favorite part?
> 
> A/N 2: Oh yeah! Please let me know if anyone seems OC! I really have trouble writing Johnny and Reever, so tell me how I did. Also, I was going to put what the teens actually wrote in their journals, but it was getting too long. Sorry! That'll be in the next chapter!
> 
> (1) I, in no way know how to lock pick. I actually took this little process from Assassin's Creed III. That's how they lock-pick in the game. I don't know if that's how you would even lock-pick in real life…
> 
> (2) I based Lavi's mess of a room off of the phrase "an organized mess". I got the vision of the old-timey newspaper rooms where there would be super tall stacks of paper everywhere. Each stack of papers is a different subject. Plus, he is/was a Bookman, so he kind of lives on "organized chaos".
> 
> (3) I have no idea if it's possible to smoke and drink at the same time.
> 
> (4) I think you guys can tell I favor Allen over all the other exorcists. However I do try to treat them all equally. (But Allen is Allen, and he's a general, so his room is so much more fun to describe!)


	5. The Journal of a Rabbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray-Man

Once they left Allen's room, being careful not to be caught again, they maneuvered out of the generals' wing of the Order and back to Komui's office, swift and silence. When they made it back, they all headed toward Komui's couch. Komui set the four exorcists' journals on the table in front of the couch and sat down in the middle of the couch. With twin sighs, Johnny and Reever plopped down on either side of him, and they all sat in a companionable silence for a moment or two.

"Well, we did it," Reever said from his right, breaking the silence.

"Yes," Komui replied. "It seems we have."

They did do it. They broke into the rooms of four teens and stole their most private possessions. And, in the process, they encroached on their very private and personal spaces—the _only_ private and personal spaces they had in the Order—and were about to read about their innermost thoughts and feelings.

It was no wonder Komui was feeling so appalling.

The tall scientist had to wonder to himself. Was this right? Was what he was about to do the right thing? Sure, he told the exorcists when he gave them these journals that he'd might need to read them if the need came, but still, Komui felt uneasy. He knew for certain that the exorcists had probably written more than what was strictly just about their Innocence in their journals—who would not? He knew the journals were a reprieve and an escape from the stressful lives that all the exorcists led; it was a place where they could write down what was concerning them which they could not, or were not allowed, to say.

The man knew that the exorcists trusted him like no one else in the Order. What he was about to do felt like he was breaking that trust he held so dear to him. Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Lenalee and trusted him especially; they were young, and it was expected.

He knew there would be some very personal information in those journals. But, as he took off his white beret and threaded a tired hand through his hair wearily, he wished he had that particular foresight when he had started to hand out the journals all those years ago. He leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes for a moment, collecting his thoughts and trying to ease his mind.

His two companions must have noticed his muted behavior because he felt a gentle tap on his left shoulder. Komui slowly opened his eyes and turned his head to see Johnny looking at him with concern.

"You okay, Komui?" the American asked.

"Yes, yes," Komui said through a grunt as he hefted himself into a more proper upright position. "I'm just…tired, Johnny. Tired both mentally and physically—of all this stuff."

Reever put his two cents into the conversation. "I hear ya', Chief. I mean, we got missing Innocence and four catatonic kids. The war's supposed to be over for crying out loud! God dammit! We shouldn't have to be dealing with this anymore!" The man was so frustrated that he ended up slamming a fist on the wooden table. Johnny flinched slightly, and then he turned to the frustrated man.

"R-Reever, calm down," he said as he put a hand on the Australian's shoulder. "Getting mad isn't gonna get us anywhere. Allen and the others are counting on us to help them."

"Johnny's right, Reever," Komui added. "I understand that you're frustrated—we all are—and that's okay. But, like Johnny said, the kids are counting on us. The longer we delay reading these journals, the longer they will remain in the state they are now—or worse."

Komui watched Reever inhale a deep breath and then exhale sharply. Tension slowly drained from his body and the muscles relaxed in his face. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry guys."

Johnny flashed a smile at his friend. "It's okay, Reever!"

Komui nodded and reached toward the table, picking up the journals and setting them on his lap. "Alright," he said seriously, "let's get started. Even though you both probably know this already, I will still tell you: we are probably going to learn more about these kids—and exorcists in general—than ever before. These kids probably wrote more…information than what was strictly necessary. There is going to be some very personal stuff in here; I guarantee that as a fact."

They bobbed their heads in understanding as their focus was brought to the journals in Komui's lap. "Whose should we read first?" Johnny asked curiously. Komui picked up the first of the four that was on his lap. It was Lavi's.

"I think whatever order, as long as Allen's is last. Allen's should _definitely_ be last. I think we'll need more mental preparation if we have to read the thoughts of Allen Walker." The three men all silently nodded, perfectly agreeing with the statement. Allen was a conundrum when he first arrived in the Order. If they had to read what he thought during his experiences with the Noah coming after him, the Earl, and his _own_ Noah, then they wanted to be prepared—the other journals would probably give them a forewarning about what to expect.

Plus, they all knew Allen was…well, insane, to put it frankly. That, and he shared head space with his Noah "uncle" Neah Walker.

Of course the scientists made sure to be prepared. They would be stupid not to be.

"Alright," Komui declared as he lifted up one the journals and put the others back on the table, "We'll read Lavi's first." Lavi's journal was the standard black, but he personalized it to fit himself. There were a few small colored paper tabs sticking out from the pages of the journal; other than that, there were no other indications of personalization. When Komui opened the journal, he could see Lavi's name clearly written neat print on the inside cover.

He felt Johnny and Reever press a bit closer to him in order to see the pages better, but he ignored the feeling of someone invading his personal bubble. "What do you think all those tabs are?" Reever asked.

"They're probably important events or thoughts. If they're important enough for Lavi to paper-tab, then they're important enough for us," Komui replied. "But, we are going to start on the first page, sensibly."

Just before he was about to read aloud the first page of Lavi's private thoughts, he offered up a silent apology to the red-haired rabbit. _I'm sorry, Lavi, but I'm doing this to help you._

**_Entry 1_ ** **_:_ **

**_Well, I suppose I should start by introducing my name. I am Lavi—Hebrew for 'lion', and I am the current apprentice of Bookman. Currently, I am recording the history of the 'secret' Holy War between the Vatican's Black Order and the Millennium Earl and his Akuma and Noah. As a Bookman's apprentice, I am required to remain emotionally detached from the workings of the subject's history I am recording. However, there has been a certain…twist as to how I will be recording this history._ **

**_I have been chosen to be an accommodator of Innocence._ **

**_This tidbit of information means that I am required to become an exorcist of the European Branch of the Black Order—the very same Black Order that I am to be recording._ **

**_…From a detached point of view._ **

**_Not through the eyes of an exorcist._ **

**_But, I suppose that is why I have been required to create this 49th persona of mine. 'Lavi' is supposed to be the kind, bubbly, mischievous, and vibrant exorcist that would fit in perfectly with the Order. Now I must be 'Lavi', not Bookman Jr._ **

**_Simple enough._ **

After reading just the first entry, Komui felt a bit perturbed. Just from this little portion of the journal, Komui felt like something was…off. This did not seem like the Lavi they knew now. He turned to voice his concerns to his fellow readers.

"Does Lavi seem a bit…cold to you guys?" he asked.

From his left, he heard Johnny reply. "Yeah, he does, now that you mention it." The man fiddled with his glasses a bit. "He doesn't sound anything like Lavi. He sounds all…super formal and everything—kinda like Bookman."

"Komui…" Reever called to him; a certain note was present in his voice that the Chinese man could not make out.

"…Yes, Reever?" Komui could tell he was not going to like what Reever was going to ask.

"What did it mean when it said that he was required to _create_ the 49th persona called 'Lavi'?" The man's voice had a slightly hard edge to it.

Komui really did not want to answer the question. Since he was the Supervisor of his branch of the Black Order, he knew things that he was not allowed to share with his companions. One of those things was deeper knowledge of the Bookmen. When Lavi and Bookman had first come to the Order, Bookman had made it quite clear that the only reason they were staying was because Lavi had been chosen by a piece of Innocence to become its accommodator. Their original purpose was to just record history. Lavi was not supposed to become involved and become an accommodator.

Also, Komui knew that as a member of the clan of Bookman, 'Lavi' was just an alias, a persona. The red-headed boy with the eye patch was just a detached observer. He knew this because Bookman had told him flat out, without pretense.

Komui took a pregnant pause before answering the Australian. "…When Lavi and Bookman came to the Order, their original intent was just to record the 'Holy War' we are—excuse me— _were_ fighting, as Lavi mentioned in his journal. After a day of the two of them being here, Bookman told me flat out that 'Lavi' is not real. He is an alias that…the boy took in order to properly record the Order's history and to fit in better. I then knew that 'Lavi' must've already had several other aliases."

The only sounds in Komui's office were the sound of a clock ticking and the sound of their startled breathing.

The silence was broken by Johnny's small voice. "So…Lavi… _wasn't_ our friend?" The younger scientist sounded a bit tearful, but Komui could tell that was determined not to cry. He knew that Johnny's friends were precious to him. The incident with Tapp made them even more precious to him. To think that Lavi might not have been his friend…

He glanced to his right, looking at Reever. The man's arms were crossed and he had a heavy set to his jaw as his eyes were locked onto the journal in Komui's hands. Reever was silent.

Komui said nothing.

The silence was charged with tenseness and it bothered Komui. Wanting to be rid of the silence, Komui answered Johnny's question post haste. "The Lavi you know now _is_ your friend, Johnny. I can state that with a fact. Do you remember what happened after the battle with the Earl, when everyone was recovered, and when Bookman was about to leave?"

"…Yeah."

"Remember when Bookman told Lavi to hurry up because they had to go? Lavi stood his place and said that he was truly Lavi. He was Lavi the exorcist of the European Branch of the Black Order. He denied going with Bookman to stay here. Now, does that sound like someone that isn't you friend?"

Johnny fervently shook his head. "No!"

Komui smiled. "Good! Now—"

"—You kept what you knew from us, Komui?" Reever interrupted.

"Hm?" Komui turned his head so he could see Reever properly. Reever still had a hard set to his jaw and his brows were furrowed downward. He still had his arm crossed, and he was giving off a displeased air. Komui felt the need to pick his words carefully—Reever seemed a bit…displeased at him at the current moment. "I'm sorry, but I had to, Reever. I was told by Bookman that, under any circumstances—at the time, I was to let no one know about Lavi and his personas. The only reason you guys are finding out about this now is because of the currently... _delicate_ situation."

Reever seemed to be placated by the answer because he gave a terse nod of his head and his brows smoothed out. His jaw and arms relaxed more, but he still kept his arms crossed over his chest. "Let's just continue," he said simply.

"Alright then," Komui said.

**_Entry 2 :_ **

**_Okay, I take back my previous assessment._ **

**_This may not be as simple as I had originally perceived._ **

**_I have been here for just short of a week, and I can tell the people here are crazy!_ **

**_The man who gave me this journal, Komui Lee, is the Supervisor of this Branch. One would think that due to his high position, he would be responsible and authoritative. No! Supervisor Lee is utterly insane!_ **

Komui frowned a bit at being referred to by his last name by someone he considered to be family. But, he had to remind himself that this 'Lavi' was just the persona, not the real Lavi. The real Lavi was emotional—and was _allowed_ to be emotional—and not detached like the senior Bookman.

**_In order to fit in more properly and to get to know the people I will be in contact with better, I started to speak with the exorcist Lenalee Lee. She was of average height; she had long green hair pulled up into two pigtails and kind violet eyes. She was wearing a standard exorcist uniform—standard, except for the fact that her skirt seemed just a bit too short to be proper._ **

Here, unseen by the other two men, Komui glared a bit behind his glasses. _He better not be insulting my little sister!_

**_Just as I started a surprisingly decent conversation with the girl, my body jumped to the side out of pure reflex. I did not understand why at first, but then I turned around and understood…mostly._ **

**_Lee had a large weapon—it looked to be akin to a rocket launcher—slung over his shoulder and it was still smoking. I looked to where I had been previously standing and saw an…octopus? I still did not quite understand but I did after Supervisor Lee had shouted, "Stay away from my precious baby sister!"_ **

**_This clearly unstable man—_ **

Reever and Johnny laughed vicariously for a good several minutes, much to Komui's displeasure, at what their resident red-haired rabbit had written. "Oh-ho-ho! Lavi pegged you perfectly, Chief!" Reever poked at Komui good-naturedly.

"He wrote what we've all been telling you!" Johnny gasped out as he wiped a tear from behind his thick glasses.

Sniffing indignantly, Komui silenced them by jabbing a well placed elbow into each of their ribs. Komui pointedly ignored their groans and continued reading.

**_—had a sever sister-complex, and here I was—or rather, had been—striking up a conversation with said sister. I really should have deduced they were family by their last name. But, it is not proper to make assumptions without acceptable proof._ **

**_Anyway, as I am currently writing this and not in a hospital somewhere—hopefully it would not have been so extreme—I had not been captured by Lee. Ms. Lee had stopped her brother._ **

**_As I mentioned before, Ms. Lee is an exorcist, and thus and accommodator of Innocence. Her Innocence is called Dark Boots. I witnessed her use her Innocence when she stopped her brother. When she activated it, black colored boots curled around her legs from seemingly nowhere and green energy radiated off of them. Using her Innocence, she promptly kicked the surprisingly large rocket launcher off Lee's shoulder to…well, I really do not know where. She then proceeded to drag Lee in another direction by the ear as she lectured him on—and I quote—"Not harassing our new friends"._ **

**_If I am going to be an exorcist here, am I to expect this every day?_ **

"You sure are, Lavi!" Johnny laughed. Komui let a fond smile spread across his lips; chaos in the Order was indeed something to expect daily. Komui should know—he was the cause of a lot of that chaos himself.

**_On another note, Ms. Lee said "our new friends"._ **

**_… Am I to assume that she thinks of me as a friend? Bookman frequently reminds me that as a member of the clan of Bookman, I am not allowed to become attached to people and make friends. Friends are not useful._ **

**_I know this quite well and am used to it._ **

Komui interrupted himself to say question aloud, "Wait. Lavi has _never_ had a friend? That's…wrong."

Reever and Johnny agreed with his statement. "Yeah," Reever said solemnly. "But, he did say he was kinda used to it, right? But, I do agree with you, Chief."

Komui was very glad that Lavi had come to the Black Order. The man thought that it made Lavi's life a lot better in his opinion.

**_But, I wonder…_ **

**_What does it feel like…to have a person to call 'friend'?_ **

Komui felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. This child sounded so utterly lonely, but he did not even seem to know it at the time. Komui, Reever, and Johnny all exchanged looks with one another.

"…Anybody else already getting kinda depressed by this?" Reever asked, his words slightly cynical.

"…Yeah."

"Hey," Komui said, "look at this entry. It's not paper tabbed like some of the other pages, but it's marked with stars. Do you think it's important like the paper tabs?"

"Probably," Johnny said. "Only one way to find out."

**_* * * * Entry 3: * * * *_ **

**_It had been a little over a month since I have been in the Black Order. Surprisingly, there have been no missions for me to carry out. I had expected to be given assignments as soon as I got here. I was chosen by Innocence, but my Innocence fragment has not been turned into a weapon that I can use._ **

**_But, that changed as of today._ **

**_The science department finally finished crafting my piece of Innocence into something I was capable of using. I was called down to go retrieve it. When I reached the science department, I was greeted by Mr. Wenhamm and Mr. Lee—_ **

This time Reever frowned when he heard how impersonal Lavi felt towards him.

**_—and was given my Innocence. I was presented a small, handheld iron war hammer. As soon as I looked at it, I felt this…feeling go through me, one that I could not understand. When I grabbed the hammer and held it in my hands, I felt this strange but…welcomed…warmth bloom inside of me._ **

Komui paused reading. A thought occurred to him suddenly. _Is this…is this part of that special connection between exorcist and Innocence that Cross told us about?_

His other two compatriots seemed to be thinking the same thing he was. "Hey, guys," Johnny called them to his attention as he adjusted his thick glasses, "I think this is what Cross was talking about."

"Yeah," Reever said. He then rubbed behind his neck, looking suddenly awkward. "This is starting to sound really…personal, don't you think, guys?"

Komui gave Reever a very flat look from behind his glasses. "You're only starting to think that _now_ , Section Leader?"

Said man only gave a sheepish shrug.

**_A gasp escaped my mouth when I heard a very faint voice say something. I looked around the room, but Mr. Wenhamm and Mr. Lee were looking over some papers, not speaking. The voice sounded male and strong, deep but friendly. Through a whisper, I quietly repeated what I heard the voice had said._ **

**_"Ozuchi…Kozuchi…"_ **

**_This is my Innocence._ **

**_This feeling…I think this is the most I've ever felt since…since I first took up the mantle as Bookman's apprentice. And, it's so…_ **

**_…wonderful._ **

"…Wow," Johnny muttered as he looked at the journal with wide eyes.

"Yeah, wow," Reever agreed. "I think that entry was definitely important."

"Hey, Reever," Komui said. "Do you remember that day?"

"Yeah, I do!" Reever said as he clapped his hands together. "I gave him the hammer, and as soon as it touched his hands, he got this weird look on his face. Then, all of a sudden, he just got this really small smile on his face. It was the opposite of the smiles we saw on his face in the month that he had been here, so we were kinda caught off guard."

"Really?" Johnny asked.

"Yep," Reever replied. "The kid totally looked like a normal sixteen year-old. Was actually kinda sweet, you know? At least now we know what he was thinking at the time."

Komui silently agreed with Reever. Lavi had looked like a regular, everyday sixteen year-old child—a child who was not plagued with the burdens of being an exorcist and Bookman every day. When Lavi's face had formed into that soft little smile and his eye widened in green-eyed wonder, he had looked like an innocent child receiving their first present—one that is held dear to the heart.

Komui was not sure if had seen that same smile on Lavi's face again since that day, sadly enough.

"Let's continue."

**_Entry: 4_ **

**_Now that I have my Innocence, I keep it in a holster strapped to my thigh—easily accessible._ **

**_I have gotten better at fitting into this persona of 'Lavi', if I do say so myself. I have been smiling more naturally and been interacting with people more often. I think I actually attribute that to my Innocence._ **

**_Sometimes…sometimes, I feel like I am not fitting in properly or I am not acting in the right way. It is at those times that I put my hand on Ozuchi Kozuchi and feel the same welcomed warmth from my Innocence just like the first time I held it. It was as if the hammer acts on my feelings…_ **

"Anyone else think that this bolsters the fact that Innocence might actually be extremely sentient?"

**_Mostly, I have been spending time with the scientists. I find the finders pleasant, yes, but they are so…plain. I am able to engage in more intellectual conversations with the scientists, one scientist in particular. I have come to…like Wenhamm._ **

Here, out of the corner of his eye, Komui saw Reever smile.

"Heh! Didn't know the kid even liked me back then," Reever said fondly as he as an easy grin formed on his face.

**_I have discovered that he is particularly adept in the area of Mathematics, Chemistry, and Linguistics. I quite enjoy talking to the man about Mathematics; it is my favorite subject. I think that is because I am a chronicler, always surrounded by numbers._ **

**_Luckily enough, my next two favorite subjects are Linguistics and Chemistry. Being of the clan of Bookman, I have travelled around the world to many different places. Each of those places has their own culture and their own language. So far, I am able to speak all of the Romance languages (Latin included), Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Arabic, Russian, Swahili, Hindi, Bulgarian, Swedish, Greek, Hebrew, Malay, and Filipino._ **

**_I still have a lot of work to do._ **

Here, Komui, Reever, and Johnny blatantly gaped without restraint at the journal. "He knows _all_ those languages and he says he _still_ has to learn more?!" Johnny blurted out.

Komui turned to Reever with an eyebrow raised all the way to his hair line. "I thought _you_ knew a lot of languages, Reever."

Still looking at the journal in Komui's hands, Reever replied "I thought I did, too." His voice was like a strangled croak trying to escape his throat. "Compared to this kid, I look like an amateur who started his first day of school! I don't know whether to feel ashamed that a teen knows more than I do now when he was sixteen, or to just be impressed." Komui thought Reever kind of looked like he wanted to cry a bit. But then the sandy-blonde-haired man turned to him. "If he knew all of that then—in just _languages_ —what do you think he knows now?"

Three shudders easily answered the question.

**_Oops. Getting off topic. Anyway, today I met a new exorcist—well, a new exorcist to me, more accurately. I found out from a random finder that this exorcist's name was Yuu Kanda—_ **

"Oh my God," Reever said, "I definitely remember what happened that day!"

"Mmhm," Komui nodded his head. "Anybody's first experience with meeting Kanda is never a good one," he said sagely as if the words he had just spoken had some profound meaning.

And really, it did have profound meaning. It was like saying anything from the Bible to a Christian (1); it was one of those sacred things to the Black Order—the thing with Kanda, not the Bible. Because really, after all the crap they have been through, Komui thought it was fair to say that most of the Order has given up on God.

"What happened?" Johnny asked.

"Oh, right, you were away that day, weren't you?" Komui said. "Don't worry~! You'll find out!"

**_—and he had just returned from a mission. Since I was supposed to be well acquainted with the people I was going to work with, I decided to go and meet this Yuu Kanda. After a few minutes of searching a heard a ruckus coming from the entrance foyer. When I got there I saw Yuu Kanda and Ms. Lee. Apparently, they had been engaging in some kind of conversation when I heard Yuu Kanda abruptly ground out a threat to not call him my his first name._ **

"Is it just me, or do I feel a sense of foreboding?" Komui asked as he interrupted his reading.

"No, it's us, too."

"Okay, just wanted to make sure."

**_When I heard that, I had this odd feeling come over me. Acting on the feeling I walked over toward the two. I looked over the new (to me) exorcist. Yuu Kanda was a Japanese looking teen that looked about my age, and was about the same height as me, only an inch taller than I was. He had long raven-blue hair that was pulled into a single ponytail behind his head. His dark cobalt eyes glared at me and a scowl was aimed like a weapon. He also was wearing a standard exorcist uniform. What drew my attention was the hand resting on the handle of a sheathed katana on his waist._ **

**_That odd feeling came back. So, I acted on it._ **

"…Oh, no."

**_I remembered how he had told Ms. Lee not to call him by his first name. His Japanese appearance, plus the fact he said not to call him by his first name made me deduce something. Putting a smile on my face, I greeted myself and then tacked on a 'Yuu!' at the end._ **

Despite themselves, Komui and his two fellow readers leaned in closer to the book in welling anticipation. They knew very well what was about to happen, but they really wanted to know how Lavi _felt_ during the whole thing.

**_I thanked my reflexes as they once again saved my life. My body instinctively crouched down in a squat. I felt a rush of air over my head and heard a loud sound of metal on stone. I turned around, still in a squat, to see the Japanese teen's katana buried half a foot in the stone wall over twenty feet behind me. Something on the floor caught my eye and I picked it up. Between my fingers, I held a good number of strands of familiar red hair._ **

**_Despite myself, my face went a shade or two paler._ **

**_Through gritted teeth, he growled not to call him by his given name, sentence broken down into one-word sentences. He went to retrieve his katana and he pulled it out of the wall with ease. Sheathing it, he gave me a long look over. He clicked his tongue and started to walk away. As he was leaving, I heard him mumble that I was an annoying 'Usagi'._ **

And at this moment, a welcomed moment of laughing ensued. "Well, at least we know where Lavi got his nickname from!" Reever snickered.

**_Yes, Kanda indeed called me a rabbit._ **

**_But now, I know what to call him. I remember what that odd feeling was that came over me before: it was mischievousness._ **

Komui gave a little snort. "I'm a little surprised he didn't find that out sooner!"

**_And, I also remember what I had deduced from earlier:_ **

**_Annoying Yuu is going to be fun._ **

They continued on to the next entry.

**_Entry: 5_ **

**_I've been here at the Order from exactly two months, now. I think I'm fitting into this persona of 'Lavi" even better than before. I now have a reputation as a rambunctious, hyper, mischievous troublemaker. As much as I hate to admit it, I guess that Kanda's nickname for me, Usagi, aptly fits._ **

**_Today while wandering the halls of the Order, I ran into Tapp Dop and Johnny Gill._ **

Johnny perked up at the mention of his name. But, Komui also saw how he looked a little sad at the mention of his late best friend, Tapp.

**_To me, they looked like they were sneaking around. Sneaking? Oh, my interest was piqued, so I decided to follow them._ **

Here, from the corner of his eye, Komui saw Johnny slap a hand to his forehead. He heard the man mumble some grumpy inaudible words, but Komui was able to make out "piqued", "curiosity", and "we…so stupid".

Now, with his _own_ interest piqued, Komui definitely wanted to find out what happened.

**_Even after five minutes of following them, they still did not detect me! Heh, scientists need to work on their detection skills!_ **

The scientists sitting on the couch pointedly ignored this comment.

**_I found out they were heading to the…equipment room? I wondered why they were going there. Still undetected, I followed them into the equipment room. I hid behind one of the large stacks of boxes and watched. They looked like they were trying to hide something. I decided that it was time to make myself known. I stepped out from behind the stack of boxes I was hiding behind and gave a happy greeting…which promptly scared them._ **

**_Dop and Gill nearly jumped out of their skins as I inquired them why they were here, in the equipment room of all places. They tried to weasel themselves out, but I was too sharp to fool. Eventually they deflated and told me they would show me as long as I did not tell anyone else. Gill then held up what they were trying to hide, a pill bottle with a large "D" printed on the label._ **

Komui immediately stopped his reading. He turned to Johnny with a frown on his face. "Is that what I think it is?!" he asked (read: demanded).

"Umm, no?"

Komui kept the frown on his face, but said restrained himself from commenting. He then continued to read.

**_It looked kind of familiar—not the bottle itself—but the style of the whole thing. It looked like…like one of Komui's experiments!_ **

"I am too!" Komui exclaimed as he pressed his lips in a very thin and very annoyed line.

**_—at them. Did they seriously steal that from Komui's lab?! I've only been here for two months and even I know that you don't just take things from Komui's lab. I was kind of scared to ask them what exactly it was they were hiding, but my sense of curiosity rose and I asked anyway._ **

**_They told me it was some kind of virus that Komui had made. I was confused as to why they were hiding it in plain sight. They said there were rumors going around about some ghost in the equipment room, and because of the ghost Komui would never go in there._ **

Komui had to take a deep breath in order not to yell (loudly). "Do you know how long it took me to recreate that experiment?! That was the only sample of it that I had! It took me _weeks_ to recreate that experiment properly!"

"That experiment turned us into zombies!"

"Oh well!"

**_Smart, I have to admit. It was then I decided to high-tail it out of there; I had felt the hairs on the back of my neck standing up and the feeling that someone was watching me. Rumors or not, that ghost…may actually be real._ **

"And it turned out that the ghost was real," Reever inputted.

Komui flipped through some of the pages. There was a colored paper tab marking one of the pages he was close to and he decided to flip to the tabbed page. "I think we have enough information from these beginning entries. I'm going to skip a few pages and jump to this marked one. If it's marked, then it's probably important."

**_Entry: 13_ **

**_Today, I met someone new (to me). His name was Doug and he was a finder. I first met him in Le—Komui's office when I was called down for a mission. I was told that I was going to a town to investigate the Akuma activity there, and I would be going with Doug. I did not mind; another person to work with actually sounded interesting._ **

**_I looked at the person I would be working with. Doug was older than I was—eighteen, I guessed—but even though he was older, he was defiantly shorter than I was—5 feet and 3 inches (162 cm)! He had a slight build, and he had black hair and blue eyes. And, his uniform was in perfect shape—no dust, no loose threads, no dirt. Nothing._ **

**_He totally seemed like one of those goody two-shoes._ **

**_I went to introduce myself. I stuck out my hand and introduced my name. Doug shook my hand and mumbled out his name, but strangely enough, he would meet my eye. I thought that was odd, but I did not comment._ **

**_It was later, during the mission, when I questioned Doug about it. It was finally then that he met my eye and said (and I quote), "Your eye is like glass. It reflects me, but that's all. Nothing reaches inside."_ **

"Jeeze," Johnny breathed. "I'm not sure if that's a harsh statement or something else…"

"Doug…Doug always was a perceptive one," Komui said solemnly. "By just looking into someone's eyes, he could tell their intentions and their mental state. Now that we are more familiar with Lavi's situation with being a Bookman and his personas, Doug's comment makes…sense." The Chinese man said that last part with some reluctance.

"Now that I think about it, when he first came to the Order, Lavi always _acted_ bubbly and happy and all that," Reever said as he leaned back against the couch, crossing his arms, "but to me, he never _seemed_ like he _felt_ that way. Not truly. I think that the only time that I ever saw him look truly happy was when he received his Innocence. The only other times were when we had those conversations about Chemistry and Linguistics and all that, but I could tell it wasn't the same kind of happy. Not like when he got Ozuchi Kozuchi."

**_(Even to this day, what he said remains poignant to me.)That caught me off guard, and actually hurt a bit. Ironic, huh, since Bookmen are not supposed to feel emotions? But, what Doug said hit a bit home, I think. Ever since I got here, I knew I was supposed to remain detached from these people; I'm only supposed to be recording history. But, as I interacted more and more in order to fit into this persona of 'Lavi' better, I forgot that I'm supposed to remain detached. And, it's in those moments of forgetfulness when I feel like I actually am 'Lavi', not Bookman Jr. acting with the mask of 'Lavi' on his face._ **

_He sounds very conflicted,_ Komui thought to himself sadly.

**_So Doug saw the eyes of Bookman Jr. and not Lavi, huh? Well, I suppose I need to work on that._ **

**_During the mission, we met up with another finder. Later, during the battle that ensued, said finder was targeted by an Akuma. Doug rushed toward the Akuma and distracted it in order to save the finder. Stupid! He could have killed himself! The idiot was trapped in a building that was about to collapse. I didn't want to lose Doug; I just couldn't. I ran into the building and got him out. As soon as we stepped foot out of the building, the whole damn thing came crashing down, sending smoke, dust, and debris everywhere._ **

**_Doug looked at me with surprise—I guess wondering why someone like me would come and save him. But, that look of surprise changed into a smile. He then jutted out his hand in front of me. I was actually surprised. Did Doug want to be…want to be my…friend? Taking a leap of faith, I stuck out my own hand and shook it, a small, shaky smile on my face. I will always remember what he said at that moment._ **

**_"You're my friend now Lavi. Forever and always."_ **

**_This was the first time in my life I genuinely wanted to be attached to someone._ **

**_I…I don't care what Bookman says! Having one friend won't kill me. As I write this, from its holster on my thigh, Ozuchi Kozuchi radiates a kind of warmth that I'm certain only I can feel. I guess it approves of my decision._ **

"I think Lavi made a good decision," Johnny said softly, a smile present on his face.

"Same here," Reever grinned. "You guys notice how he's starting to sound more and more like our Lavi?"

"Yep!" Johnny said cheerfully.

Komui nodded his head. "Yes. I want to say this might be a turning point for Lavi; a point where he's acting less like Bookman Jr. and more like the Lavi we know." With that said, Komui started flipping through the pages. "Umm, Lavi doesn't write much in these few entries. They're mostly about the everyday crap that goes on in the Order…he saw pretty ladies…Bookman is an 'unfair Panda'…"

Reever rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that definitely sounds like Lavi, alright."

"…caught a cold…Aha!" Komui stopped flipping the pages. "Here's a good entry. It's tabbed, and it also has stars marked on it. I think this is a good place to start reading." Komui read to himself the date next to the entry number (2). "Strange," he muttered.

"What's strange?" Johnny asked.

"Lavi doesn't seem to write much between the last entry and this one. And the frame of time between the entries is odd, too. It's about a year between the two entries. The entries in between aren't really entries at all; they're just single sentences, really, and most of them are not even numbered."

"That is weird," Reever said as he quirked an eyebrow.

"Yes, but I think we're about to find out what's so important about this entry."

**_* * * Entry: 15 * * *_ **

**_When I woke up this morning, the birds were chirping and the sun was shining; I was expecting for today to be a good day. What made it even better was when I heard what my mission assignment was and who it was with. I was excited. I mean, how could I not? I found out that I was going to see Doug again after a whole year!_ **

"And that's probably the answer why this is so important," Reever laughed.

"Mmhm," Komui hummed in agreement. "When I told Lavi he was going on a mission with Doug, he looked like he was over the moon!" The man gave a fond chuckle. "I was glad that he was excited. He looked like he needed it."

**_The mission was at the town of Elysee, which was north of Paris. Elysee was currently experiencing strange phenomenon, most likely Akuma-related. When I got to Elysee, I saw Doug. The shortie—_ **

Reever and Johnny snorted, interrupting Komui. "Sorry," Johnny apologized, not really sounding like he meant it. "It's just sounds something Lavi would so say without hesitation," Reever snorted again.

Komui shook his head, but could not help but mentally agree with the two.

**_—still hadn't grown at all! He was still 5 feet and three inches (162 cm)! When I called out to him, he turned around and smiled; he looked happy to see me. And I was happy to see him as well. After catching up and me teasing him a bit on his height, he told me that I had changed and that I was warmer. Bookman or not, I think—no— am glad I am warmer._ **

**_We investigated the area and discovered that the strange events were occurring around a rich family. We found out that the lady of the house died, the son was a spaz, the maid is cold and unfriendly, and the husband was sick and bedridden._ **

**_Fun family, huh?_ **

**_Anyway, we also found out that a total of fourteen people had disappeared, and that there were rumors of this shrine that could bring back people's loved ones. Bringing back loved ones—I told Doug that if that didn't sound like the Earl's business, then I'd eat my own bandana._ **

**_The shortie had the gall to offer me salt with the thing._ **

The three men could not help but laugh.

**_When we went to question the family, the maid (Colette) tried to make us go away. Rude much? The son (Serge) let us inside, thankfully, when he saw our Rose Crosses. Even though he let us inside, he didn't really give us any useful information. I noticed—and I know Doug definitely noticed—that the guy was really shady and he had a nasty temper. We then decided to leave._ **

**_During the whole time we had been there, I had been getting this deep feeling of unease about Colette. Like the one I get around Akuma. So, when we encountered her again, I acted on what I thought was proper. I swung my hammer at her—_ **

"He thinks _that_ was _proper_?!" Johnny exclaimed, surprised.

"…I guess, for the situation, it _was_ proper." Komui said uneasily. "I mean, he _did_ say he had been getting an uneasy feeling about her, like the one he gets from Akuma."

"Yeah, but let's see what happens," Reever said.

**_—thinking that if she was an Akuma, she would dodge the threat of Innocence. I saw that didn't move, so I stopped my hammer just before it would have hit her. I made her cry._ **

"Damn," Reever said with raised eyebrows.

**_I still feel bad about that._ **

**_Doug was furious. I don't think I had ever seen him that mad. It made me feel worse than I already had been feeling. I was sure he was holding some kind of grudge against me then._ **

**_…I didn't want my first, true friend to be mad at me, especially since we had just reunited after a year. Sure, I was good friends with Yuu and Lenalee, but Doug was my first friend; my dear best friend._ **

**_As an apology to Colette, we offered to carry her groceries. Damn things were heavy, but I didn't complain._ **

**_That night, Bookman met up with Doug and I (Bookman had been on a previous mission) and we filled him in as to what we had found out. The three of us kept watch outside of the mansion. When we heard the old man of the house leave, we followed him. Unfortunately, Bookman and I got held up by a bunch of thugs, but Doug continued forward._ **

**_When we met up with Doug again, he was with Colette. He told us what he had discovered: he ran into Colette and she told him she was also following the old man. Doug and Colette arrived at the shrine, and it was there that the girl admitted that she was being abused by Serge. When Doug said that, he also said that he wanted to adopt Colette to give her a better life._ **

**_The spazzy bastard, Serge, then appeared and demanded that he received their family's diamonds and that he should be given control of their assets. His temper was definitely appearing then as he kept on yelling his demands, but right in the middle of his tantrum, the old man we had been following appeared. Turned out, the old dude was an Akuma._ **

**_Well, I guess my feeling about an Akuma was almost right._ **

"It was a completely different person, Lavi," Komui shook his head.

**_Since Doug was a finder and had very limited head on battle experience, he protected Colette. Bookman and I destroyed the Akuma (and, accidently, part of their house). When we were sifting through the rubble, I found out that I kind of-sort of-accidently destroyed the diamond the bastard wanted._ **

**_Oops._ **

"Yeah!" Reever exclaimed. "Kind of a _big_ oops!"

**_After all the commotion, Bookman and I immediately left to the Order. Doug said he wanted to stay behind so he could formally adopt Colette. I was happy for Doug and Colette._ **

**_But, that happiness did not last._ **

**_It turned out that an Akuma had snuck into the Order's waterways and stared to kill some of the finders. Unfortunately, I was the only exorcist available—we really need more recruits._ **

"We really do."

**_The Akuma was a Level Two, and it looked like a large knight. I started to fight it, but as soon as I did, I saw its eyes. I froze. They were blue, a blue I was so very familiar with._ **

**_It was Doug._ **

Komui was not sure that Johnny and Reever were even breathing, it was so silent. Komui, on the other hand, was not shocked. He had read about Doug in Lavi's mission report; a sad way to find out.

"Oh my god," Reever and Johnny breathed. Komui knew, sadly, that this was new news to his two fellow scientists.

"I thought Doug was killed by the Akuma," Reever said, disbelief clearly lacing his voice.

Komui shook his head morosely. "No, Doug actually was the Akuma. Through deep investigation we found out that Serge had killed Colette because he thought that she stole the diamond; he didn't know it was destroyed by Lavi. Doug found Colette and went to the shrine, the same one that was rumored to bring loved ones back to life. There, he probably prayed for Colette's life to return, and thus met the Earl. And, we all know what happens when one meets the Earl."

"Damn," Reever said sadly. He buried his face in his hands and then dragged his hands through his sandy-blonde hair. "They can't get a break can they?"

"Poor Lavi…" Johnny said as he clenched his hands tightly on his knees. "He just found out that he has to fight and kill his first friend."

Komui honestly did not want to continue reading, but he knew that he had to. Reluctantly, the man picked up the journal, which felt like a heavy lead weight in his hands, and began to read once again.

**_It_ ** **_was Doug._ **

**_It was Doug._ **

**_It was Doug._ **

**_No matter how many times I said it—no matter how many ways I said it—I could not believe that this was my dear friend. Emotions be damned! At that moment, I wanted to scream; I wanted to retch; I wanted to cry…_ **

**_…I wanted to do anything but believe this damned creation of the Millennium Earl was my best friend…that it was Doug._ **

**_I think the only reason I was snapped back into action was the Aku—Doug attacking me. Every time it—HE attacked me, it felt like my chest was constricting. Every time I had to attack him, I felt like I was committing some kind of wretched sin, one that critically hurt both him and I._ **

**_Through the whole battle, my eye stung, but I didn't cry. I was reluctant to end the battle—I didn't want to lose Doug. But…I did what I had to do. Ozuchi Kozuchi sent me warm, reassuring pulse through its handle into my body; it gave me a little strength. I ended it with Fire Stamp: Hellfire and Ash._ **

"…There are tear marks on the paper…" Komui said in a quiet voice.

Reever and Johnny looked at the paper, but were silent.

**_When everything was over, it was very quiet. I remember there was a ringing in my ears, though. I dropped to me knees and it was then that the stinging in my eye became prominent. It was then when I realized I was crying…_ **

**_…Just like I am now._ **

**_I couldn't take it. I had just been forced to kill my best friend with my own hands. I couldn't stop crying. Bookman detachedness be damned! I just lost—killed—my best friend!_ **

It was here that the print became even more smudged; however, it was just legible enough to read.

**_I wanted to make the emotions stop. They hurt…_ **

**_This is why Bookman said friends are not useful. They hurt. Emotions hurt._ **

**_Friends hurt._ **

**_…Doug hurts._ **

**_Friends are just ink on paper._ **

**_Doug is—was just ink on paper._ **

**_They're all just ink on paper. They're ink on paper. Ink on paper…_ **

**_Just ink on paper…_ **

**_…But writing this right now, with tears rolling down my face, I can't bring myself to think that Doug is—WAS just ink on paper._ **

It was silent for a good several moments. They were silent in respect for Doug. They were also silent because of what Lavi was forced to go through. Komui personally felt like it would be disrespectful to say anything at the current moment.

After a few more moments of silence, he decided it was okay to speak up. "I think this is a good place to stop," he said while closing the journal. "I remember that it was after this mission that I dispatched Lavi to the Rewinding Town. His next entry will probably be about that mission. So, that will probably be a good place to start tomorrow."

As Komui looked at his two friends, he noticed they looked…drained. Reever was hunched over himself, elbows on his knees and hands hiding his face. The man was silent. Komui took notice, though, of the man's white-knuckled clenching of his hands.

If Reever could be called composed (barely), then Johnny was the exact opposite. The young American had taken off his thick glasses and was rubbing his eyes, tears on his face and hands. He was biting his lip, trying to stifle his sobs.

Komui slowly stood up, and he put Lavi's journal on the table. He turned to his two friends and put a hand on each of their shoulders. "Get some rest, you two," he said in through a low, scratchy voice. "It's late. We'll start early tomorrow." The two said nothing, but nodded their heads in silent understanding.

Leaving his office, very intent on getting to his room, Komui was immensely thankful that his two friends said nothing about the steady streams of tears flowing from his eyes.

* * *

Written: 2/25/13; Published/Edited: 2/12/16

Tumblr: [ms-musicl0vertheexorcist](http://ms-musicl0vertheexorcist.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really hope that you guys liked my interpretation of the inner thoughts and feelings of Lavi. I was going to make his whole journal just one chapter, but then I realized how long the chapter was getting. Next chapter will also be Lavi's journal.
> 
> (1) I'm not insulting Christians! Please, don't think that. I, myself, am a Christian. I know that what's in the Bible is sacred. To the Black Order, the little quirks and such with their exorcists are sacred in their own way. They're what make the Black Order, the Black Order.
> 
> (2) I don't date these entries because I am not familiar with the dated D. Gray-Man timeline. Only a few actual dates are given in the manga.
> 
> (3) I have not read any the DGM:Reverse novels. I just went by what I could glean from the DGM wiki page. Doug only appears in the Reverse novel, The 49th Name.


End file.
